Nice to see the romance hasn't died...

I was serving a guy today who bought a plastic cutlery container for a drawer for 1.99. Tacky and cheap but does the job kinda thing.

"Pop it in a bag for me" he asks.
I put it in a reasonably sized carrier bag but it's also a see through one.

"No, have you got any that aren't see through. It's my wife's christmas present you see and she's in the car"

Well I think it's fair to say that the present he should expect to be dished back is a stinging slap!

Anyway, have a good one guys

A very Merry Christmas to all the readers of The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two

I do beg pardon

I know yet again I've been very lax in posting here.
Things have been hectic in both positive and negative ways and any moments I've got to myself (which are rare right now) I've spent sleeping, or in the case of last night, suffering an intense bout of sickness.

Can't promise posting will resume to normality for a while yet, but don't forget about me, I'm still alive!! :)

Have a great weekend guys!!

Stole from Lillie...again

. First name? Wallo (:))
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yus.
LAST CRY? Yesterday
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yeah...its amazing
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?Don't do lunch
6. KIDS?What about them??
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Depends who I was!
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Only this blog
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? duh
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Unfortunately
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Pffft to that
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Dont do cereals either
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? nahhh takes up a lot of time
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No...Im not a weakling though
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR: Strawberry
16. SHOE SIZE? Bugs Bunny size.
FAVOURITE BODY PART ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Depends who they are! Everyone is different
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Dont have one. It all sucks
. 19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? A friend.
20. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black for both.
21. LAST THING YOU ATE? errrr pringles :)
. 22. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? bell
23. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? red cwayon
24. FAVOURITE SMELL? errrrrmmmm...-shrug-!
25. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Dad
26. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Going on past experience usually eyes and smiles
27. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yeah shes a good sport for...*cough giving me permission to steal it.
28. FAVOURITE DRINK? Depends
29. FAVOURITE SPORT? tennis
30. EYE COLOUR? they change
31. HAT SIZE?err...?
32. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nae
33. FAVOURITE FOOD? Havent got a scooby. Im fussy
34. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary!
35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIES THEATRE? Dont remember was AGES ago
36. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? maroon
37. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter.
38. HUGS OR KISSES? both are groovy...from the right person of course
39. FAVOURITE DESSERT? cake :)
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? loada stuff for school
41. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? graffiti
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT?comedy awards
43. FAVOURITE SOUNDS? silence :)
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?? -shrug-
45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?Turkey
46. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? No...I dont have ANY talents
. 47. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW? Yus
48. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Hospital
49. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE DEAD?? If you know me youll know this answer
50. BIGGEST TURN ON??? This blog is for all the family...so we shan't lower the tone ;)

Steal it if you wanna, I'm not going to tag anyone.

A very...

TO JO
XXXXXX

Can I sleep yet?

As commented...okay, okay, WHINGED recently, I have had a fairly busy week and the weekend provided no hold up.
Having performed in two shows on Friday night, the last show concluding at 10.45pm, it was necessary to show face at an hour long aftershow party before the more senior members of the cast and crew finally got to escape and go and get pis...slightly merry.

Dragging my sorry carcass back into the house at approximately 5am on Saturday (I say approximately, it's all very blurry now), I fell asleep in a random clear space on the floor and then had to be awake not long after for a nine hour shift at work.

Not just an ordinary day at work either. A day where christmas shopping is at it's peak. A day which also offered the customer 20% off all goods for the entire weekend. And also a day where we were short staffed. Needless to say chaos ensued and about two hours into the day I was ready for home. I managed to salvage twenty minutes out of my hour long lunch break having finally escaped the mass gangs of demanding individuals so was still rushing about like a madman. Getting home at 9pm, it emerged we were to have visitors...great. I locked myself away and phoned someone, using this as an effective escape route from otherwise unbearable company (no offence guys, I was just SO tired) Off the phone a good while later...yep, they were STILL there!! Bedtime arrived at about 3am.
Sunday, another early rising for work and an even busier day. I got a lunch break so thought, hey I better catch up on some eating. Got to the supermarket, went to the cash point...out of fecking order!!!! Grrr...so, gurgling stomach, I admitted defeat and wandered miserably back to work.
Got home and, starting to feel a bit of deja vu creeping on...you betcha...visitors! AND loads of them.
Me thinking my fake smiles could end at work had to keep up the charade until another late night, ready for school and catching up that the play has left me to contend with.

*sigh* Feeling only a little drained...

Just a spare moment...

...in an otherwise hectic week in which I can post something on here.
It's the week of the show I'm in 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street' and tonight is the last night.
So far it's gone moderately well, with quite a large audience last night greeting our best show so far. We hope to pull out all the stops tonight to make it even better.
I'm also a year older since my last post (well a few days but you know what I mean) having turned 18 on Wednesday.
And even though I didn't want any fuss, it was nice deep down to be the centre of attention for a day!

I'll get back to posting normally next week once the show is out of the way and I've recovered from my imminent wearienss from a heavy night out on Friday, it's effects doubled by a weekend of work.

Have a good weekend, guys!

A day late but...

To my best mate, who was also 18 this week!

To PG

With Love xxxx

A rare occurence

Any one who has to deal with people in their job will know that it's very easy to be criticised and receive compalints, but a rarity to be praised when you do something right.
So it was a pleasant change this week when a customer I helped at the weekend went the extra mile to thank me for serving her.
The lady in question was partially sighted and made me aware of this when she first requested my help. She needed to get to a product which was on an upper floor of the shop so this involved some assistance up a staircase which I made as subtle as possible to spare any embarassment on her part.
Taking her across to the items she needed, I helped her through her shopping and she was full of praise and thanks, which was nice. But she went even further, first passing on her comments to the manager, then writing in a letter fo thanks, adding she was going to put an article about me on the Royal National Institute Of The Blind homepage, then she contacted head office and she is next planning on talking to the regional director of the store I work for.
It all seems a bit much as I was only doing my job but nevertheless it's nice to get praise for something I've done as opposed to complaints about something that hasn't gone to plan.
Brightened my day anyway :)

The joys of Shakespeare...yes, REALLY

Wow, been a bit lax in the old posting do-ding recently. Apologies, had a lot on and been way too tired to log in.

Went to the theatre to watch *groan groan* a Shakespeare production last week. Yep, surely it was destined to be a bore, despite the enigmatic Patrick Stewart taking the lead but 'The Tempest' courtesy of the RSC was absolutely brilliant from start to finish.
With cutting humour, brilliant special effects and clever twists to the dialogue, this play is up there in my personal hall of fame of best theatre productions I've seen.
Patrick didn't steal the show as I had presumed he would, in fact, a couple of the actors left him in their shadows in my opinion.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and, to quote a friend from the day: 'You know who I don't hate as much anymore? Shakespeare'
Just goes to show, life can be shot into any old dredge when you try!

Stole from Gemmak's blog

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4: I do a lot of travelling alone so sometimes I get starved
2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can..... No cos Id touch my best friends ass
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? I really don't remember, I don't do TV
4.Without looking, guess what time it is?10.12.
Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?10.13.
With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?A teacher doing his lesson
7. When did you last step outside? ABout ten minutes ago
What were you doing?Going between classrooms.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?My girlfriend
9. What are you wearing?Very sophisticated shirt :)
10. Did you dream last night?Yes :(.
11. When did you last laugh?About one minute ago.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?Bricks
13. Seen anything weird lately?My girlfriend in glasses
14. What do you think of this quiz?Pointless
15. What is the last film you saw?I don't know! Long time ago.
16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?ITV so I could reincarnate Bad Girls :P
17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.Pffft depends who you are...some know different things to others
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?Poverty
19. Do you like to dance?Do I feck...I have to be VERY drunk!
20. George Bush...what about him!?
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?Log
.22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?Pumbaa
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?I could be persuaded!
24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?This is just a dream
25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal. Any four who want to!

Stole from Lillie's blog

TEN FIRSTS
First Best Pal: 'Twiggy'
First Hamster: Never had one
First Piercing: Ditto above
First Crush: Some chick from year 5
First CD: I dont remember
First Car: not got one yet
First Love: She knows who she is
First Stuffed Animal: Devil/angel dude
First Teacher: Miss Mason...she smacked me :(
First Watch: I don't know!

NINE LASTS

Last Beverage: orange juice
Last Vehicle Ride: my dads car
Last Movie Seen: Family Guy Movie
Last Phone Call: Work
Last CD Played:DOnt do CDs
Last Bubble Bath: when I was ill
Last Time You Cried: Last night
Last Person who gave you a hug: Girlfriend
Last Time you rang your mum/dad/guardian: Yes

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS

Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Yes
Have you ever been arrested: No
Have you ever skinny dipped: does a bath count
Have you ever been on TV: yer
Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: Yes quite a lot
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you knew: Yeah probably
Have you ever been in love: Yes
Have you ever wanted to slap/punch a friend: haha oh yes

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING
1 scarf
2 jacket
3 zippy shirt
4 trousers
5 shirt
6 boxers
7 socks!

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY (in no particular order)1. got up
2. coursework
3. paid ginger tax
4. this quiz
5. shivered
6. watched a war documentary

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER 1. Acting 2. Girlfriend 3. Best friend 4. Family 5. Family Guy

THREE CHOICES
1. eat or drink: depends whether Im thristy or hungry
2. blonde or brunette: Dont care
3. pink or black: Black

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Be successful in acting
2. Beat my illness

Wonderful weekend

An unexpected weekend off from work and nothing to fill it up with. Typical. The weekends you want off are already booked by other people or are too short notice, then the rota tells me that I've booked this weekend off...and I can't for the life of me think why.
I certainly don't remember booking it off and found it too late to plan anything.
Well isn't that just a bugger. It's the time of year where holidays are becoming steadily forbidden and I won't get another weekend off until the new financial year in April.
So I feel cheated that my last holiday for some time has been wasted in this way.
Oh well, sod's law and all that jazz...

Not my scene

This doctor thing just isn't working for me.
I know each doctor has their own methods and each are designed to be successful but I just can't see it as being an effective solution for me.

Yesterday, I had my latest one on one appointment with therapist doctor (I'm seeing three people at once so it gets a bit baffling at times) and I couldn't have felt more awkward.
Naturally an atmosphere where you have to open up about negative feelings annd very personal things is never going to be comfortable but he was too pushy and appeared to expect too many results. Maybe I'm not his ideal patient but I got the impression that he has over estimated me.
It was difficult enough building up the guts to go and see my GP in the first place and now these fortnightly appointments with this guy are evn more daunting. There will never be a breaking of ice because the appointment ends as soon as I begin to relax and it's another two weeks before the next one comes along.
The guy also seems very irritable and, as someone who avoids any form of confrontation, this is very intimidating for me.

Nobody said it was going to be easy and I appreciate that but I don't think I am personally strong enough to fight my demons and win, at least not at this stage.
I'm more tempted just to put up and live with the battleground that is my head rather than have to expose and analyse it on a fortnightly basis.

Burn In Hell

Hanging is nothing compared to what this evil tyrant deserves.
Good riddance

The latest rule from the killjoys

Cuddling faces the chop this time as a headteacher bans his students from embracing eachother in their breaktimes.
He has two reasons for this, first of all it makes students late for lessons (one or two minutes tops...they'll always find a way to lose these first minutes from a lesson, hugs or no hugs) and also because it could border on inappropriate.
I'm sorry but even though the cry of rape is more common than the cry of tears in this country when have you ever heard of a student complaining that their friend has hugged them in a way that makes them uncomfortable? Students hug their closest friends as a form of affection, the likelihood of a sexual abuse story cropping up out of this is pretty slim.
I think it's absurd.
So if the kids aren't allowed to show eachother affection and kindness then good luck stopping bullying. Because the only option that is being left is nastiness.
I know which I'd prefer.

To all the readers of The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two

Whatever you're doing...



Have a great bonfire night!

Winter!

It's getting to that time of year again that I love: winter is just around the corner, but weather wise it's already here this week.
Shivering winds, morning frost and nippy dips in temperature have made their prescence felt this week and I have found it pitch black on my way to a shift at work when it used to be light when I finished there.

Winter, despite the discomfort of intense chills is, to me, the best season.
And here's hoping for lots of snow this year!! Cos if you remember, I love it!

To all the readers of The Diary of Mr Slug Take Two

Well that's a bugger

The clever big shots at ITV have decided to close the doors on one of the only programmes on TV worth watching. They've axed Bad Girls after eight series despite the fact it gets nearly 6 million viewers tuning in each episode.
At least I don't have to be home for 9pm on Thursdays every summer now!

So it's come to this...

Well my pretty warped mind is playing more cruel tricks on me just to see where and when I will snap.
It's come to this...my self esteem at an all time low I feel unable to leave the house now and I can't face people and the negativity that exists within them.
Whether or not it's paranoia talking, I feel I can't relax in front of others, because of what they might be thinking about me.

Maybe I am more snappy than I used to be. Maybe I am more emotional and maybe I am too weak to deal with the crap hand life is giving me over this past year. Maybe I have lost too much weight but none of these judgements that people make about me are easy to digest because most of me doesn't want to face them.
And so my mind convinces me otherwise. My emotions are fine, everyone is overreacting, and I haven't lost nearly enough weight yet.

But in those moments where rationality kicks in and I see what's happening, it's damn scary and, if anything, acknowledging that there ar eproblems just makes the whole lot even worse.
So, finally I fully understand the phrase 'caught in vicious circle' but I would be more inclined to replace the word 'caught' with the word 'trapped'

That's the word that I would use to sum up my situation and my mentality these days. ANd it's a damn tricky trap to squeeze out of.
The week started with getting distant from the ones I love for fear of rejecting or annoying them. Then I couldnt go swimming with people I trust for fear of their judgements on my changing physical appearance. Now even leaving the house and facing people and going to work fills me with such dread and fear and I can't even put my finger on why.

I have 3 hours to pull myself together because it's too late to phone in sick. But it's a target that's a lot more daunting and difficult than most would imagine.

Discuss!

I'm going to open an age old debate here, which is relevant to a recent and ongoing experience of mine.
How confidential should a medical exchange between a doctor and a patient who is under eighteen be?
There are laws in place that state that a doctor has the right to discuss things that a patient has said with a parent if he or she feels it is necessary.
In certain situations this could be seen as acceptable and justifiable, in others an invasion of a person's privacy.
Is there a line that should be drwan? An age boundary that should be changed? Or even a radical revamp of the whole system?

I'd be very interested to know what people think on it.

*sigh* When will I ever learn?

Die hard, veteran readers of my blog (all two million of you ;)) will recall the closure of my first blog, The Diary Of Mr Slug when a bout of, self admittedly immature bitching fell into the hands of the very person it was about.
Awkward situations were created by this and the relationship between myself and the person concerned is arguably still, if even just a little, strained. Thus, I decided to end the life of my baby blog and 'Take Two' was born and I haven't looked back since.
Well, there was me swearing I won't make that mistake again.

Pffft fat chance of that. The school librarian, control freak she is, regularly invents her own rules and enforces them upon the people she doesn't like, depending on her mood. More unpredicatable than a menopausal, omnivorous, bisexual dinosaur, it's very hard to tell day by day whether the librarian will like you or loathe you. It's a gamble really.
I was bored one lesson so decided to take a wee bit of the piss. Just a little, you know me, I don't take things too far...:)
SO I made a list of library rules in a spoof that represents her unfair and unbelievable personality and desperation for power. While many of my readers won't understand them as much, not knowing the librarian, I've pasted them below.

List of Library Rules

-If you’re doing homework you must use white paper in the library and cream paper in the study room. Any swapping over will result in loss of library privileges
-Monday is romantic novel day. No other book genre may be read
-No purple stripey ties to be worn in the common room
-If your pen runs out, you will not get a study hour signed for the day.
-You may not whistle in the study room. Whistling is to be done in the to left corner of the library. And this must only be done between 2.15 and 2.45. At a noise level of 3-5. And not using your fingers. Mouth only. And only three students at a time. No exceptions. Disobeying this rule will result in you being sent to the common room
-We are bringing in more comfortable seating areas, bean bags and heating systems. Under no circumstances must these be used.
-You may eat in the common room but Thursday is no bagel day. Anyone caught eating a bagel in the common room on a Thursday will be sent to Mr Elvin
-You may not use the space bar on a computer keyboard more than twenty times in a minute. -Tracking devices are being installed to record how much space bars are used. Anyone caught exceeding the specified amount will be sent to the common room
-If you have a relative in hospital, they must not phone you with updates in the library. If this happens your phone will be confiscated
-You must choose only two friends to sit with each hour. Any other friends must be told that they are fat and sent to diet for the lesson. Failure to do this will result in you being banned from the library.
-Any books by an author with the surname beginning with C,D,F,L or S can only be read on a Wednesday. Any other times are not allowed. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
-Any study that you do must be either an essay or a technical drawing for Systems and Control every Period 2 and 5. Everything else must be done periods 1,3 and 4

I printed off one copy. Just ONE. And somehow, a week later, I heard that a friend of mine was being accused of making a set of rules by the librarian. My heart dropped and obviously I wouldn't let my friend take the rap for it so I had to admit it. Huffily she shrugged and said: 'It doesn't matter, I wasn't even offended.'
But the stories I've heard since suggest that when she read them 'the roof was practically blown off'

Judging by her regular ways, I have no doubt that from now on she will mkae my school life as aggrivating and unpleasant as possible.
Oh well....bothered.

Blogger's Block

So what do you write about when everything that is on your mind is impossible to convey?
My recent bout of blogger's block is more a restriction from being able to speak of things going on than a 'blank' of the mind.
It must be said that at this moment in time I'd love nothing more than to be able to blank my mind, but hey.

So excuse me for my continuing periods of silence.
That meme on gemmak's blog is looking to be an ideal solution to the blank canvas of my blog in the near future.

:)

Sorry for the negligence

I am aware that lately upates to this blog have been scarce. Due to certain events and situations cropping up here and there, I have been unable to do much in terms of blogging so to those who read, apologies and also those blogs I normally comment on, I haven't forgotten you exist!

I'm hoping that the 'hurdles' are resolved soon and that service can be resumed as soon as possible :)

Season Seventeen: Spoilers

Edition 161:
There's an atmosphere of euphoria in the village: Ms Poulter has been shot! And PC Sight realises pretty quickly that his investigation will be a hard one as there is no shortage of suspects. As the superbitch is rushed to hospital, will she live to tell the tale of who pulled the trigger?
Meanwhile, the residents' curiosity builds as the mansion is finally sold and a well spoken lady moves in complete with her children.
While they may not be able to afford the luxury Hawaiin cruise that they desired, Mark and Rebecca decide for a seaside holiday instead.
Following her horror at Halloween, Ms Simpson is plagued by nightmares of evil Dr Cox and psychopath Lillie. And she is also trapped by a real life villain as Greg continues his callous manipulation. Is there any escape for the long suffering Ms Simpson?

Edition 162:
Jade is aggrivated as Mark and Rebecca excitedly plan their upcoming holiday and plans her next sabotage.
Mary organises a party to get to know the villagers a lot better, especially as her pompous children make a bad impression in the neighbourhood.
Ms Simpson collapses after more terrifying visions so Greg, annoyed that this means he will be without sex for the night, visits a prostitute
PC Sight's investigations continue as he interroagtes Kate over Ms Poulter's shooting.

Edition 163:
Callie's hot headed interview with the police leaves PC Sight wondering if she is to blame for Ms Poulter's shooting.
There is drama at Mary's party as her mother Margaret makes an unwelcome arrival and causes a stir
Ms Simpson is referred to a psychologist where she promptly makes a friend.
Jade works her manipulative charm on Rebecca and secures a place on her holiday
A drunk Mr Stanton admits he hopes Ms Poulter dies, leaving Russo with the perfect ammunition for revenge

Edition 164:
Mr Stanton is arrested for Ms Poulter's shooting, much to his dismay and paula is horrified when she realises it is due to Russo's input.
Dom hears that Jade has been invited on Mark's holiday with Rebecca and wonders why he can't go.
Noto returns and apologies to Luco and Rarin for his behaviour. But is he sincere?
Maragaret's influence on Mary and her family becomes clear.
Greg is angered that Ms Simpson is spending so much time with Diane

Edition 165:
Diane confesses to Ms Simpson that she has cancer and therefore only a limited number of weeks to live.
Jade sprays some perfume onto Mark's coat and watches the sparks fly when Rebecca smells it
Mary's rich husband arrives in Panda Stripe Village and Margaret is soon butterig him up
Ms Poulter is discharged from hospital and Mr Stanton's hopes are dashed when it becomes clear she didn't see who her shooter was.
Linford and Nancy have a dramatic fallout when he suspects that she shot Ms Poulter

Edition 166:
Mark and Rebecca head off on their seaside holiday accompanied by scheming Jade and hapless Dom and Noto.
Jade ensures that Mark and Rebecca get little time alone together while Noto and Dom's light hearted fun boils over into a violent confrontation when the subject of Rarin arises.
Mark gets continually frustrated that Jade has pulled the wool over Rebecca's eyes and, as darkness falls and heavy clouds form in the sky, danger lurks around the corner as a catastrophic storm takes hold...

Edition 167:
Ms Simpson and Diane decide to live their last moments to the fullest, but evil Greg has other ideas. Feeling he is losing his hold over Ms Simpson he decides to take Diane's fate in his own hands and bring her death forward a few weeks. As a heartbroken Ms Simpson finds her close friend's body, will she realise that she has been murdered?
And Greg isn't the only villager with murder in mind as Margaret poisons Robert's meal and Mark tries to convince Rebecca that Jade tried to kill him during the storm.
Rarin has had enough of the constant confrontations and demands that Dom moves away with her. Also planning a new life are Linford and Nancy, but Alyssa is devastated that she has to move away.

Edition 168:
Charmaine tries to split up Linford and Nancy in a desperate bid to keep Alyssa in the village.
Greg loses his cool when Ms Simpson has more visions in the wake of Diane's death and he pushes her down the stairs.
Jade's true intentions dawn on Rebecca as she finally wises to the meddling. But Jade won't give up so easily...
Margaret makes a pass at Robert and the consequent showdown leaves a dead body in the manor. Who has breathed their last?

Edition 169:
Rebecca confronts Jade over her bahaviour and a showdown culminates in a violent brawl betwene the pair. As Jade realises her game is up, Rebecca throws her out into the streets. But is it really the last she has seen of her nasty lodger?
Charmaine and Alyssa's 'final sleepover' ends in a grim horror as Greg exposes his true colours to his devastated daughter.
In the wake of Robert's death, the Manor family are richer than ever but ary is suspicious of Margaret's assistance in Robert's departure.

Edition 170
Charmaine is devastated in the wake of greg's attack on Alyssa and Ms Simpson finally realises that her fiance murdered her best friend. Time is running out for Greg and a furious Linford is after his blood. As the net closes in, Greg takes his last stand against his enemies, and not everyone will make it through the night alive...

Doctors Take Two

I took the next, and admittedly quite intimidating step in combating my issues with depression recently when I had my first session with a therapist.
In the run up to the meeting, I was a self confessed bag of nerves and began to look for excuses to get out of it.
As tempting as cowardice was, however, somehow I ended up at the reception desk trying to tell a patronising secretary the reason a teenager (because of my age I was evidently there to cause trouble, you see) was visiting.
I was accompanied by my brother who provided a great deal of appreciated support which made what I presumed would be quite an ordeal, a great deal more bearable.

My initial impression of my doctor was not a positive one. Her opening statements seemed to scorn what my GP had written in his report but perhaps this was a technique to get me to explain what was wrong. She was a very dotty woman who didn't appear to be very organised or patient and I felt snapped at at times.
Whether this was genuine or just my nerves trying to make me experience the meeting in the bad way I had anticipated, I don't know but, as time went on, I began to warm to her and discussion began to flow easier.

Many of her questions seemed irrelevant to me, but she obviously knows more about what she needs to know and what she doesn't so I was content to go along with whatever methods she had.
She seemed intent on concentrating on an aspect which I didn't rank as important as others but she gradually moved on to discuss everything I had wanted to bring up.

I left the session feeling neither low nor optimistic. I understand that it's the beginning of quite a long and difficult journey and I can't say that I relish the prospect of confronting everything head on but if I don't try then I can't succeed.

I've been left with a significant amount of 'homework' to do invlving forms, reading and keeping a diary before our next meeting in three weeks time.
But for the moment, I'm just glad I managed to overcome the main significant step of that first meeting and I'll cross the imminent bridges when they are closer.

After a long, suffering battle against illness, a good family friend finally passed away tonight.

It is with relief for her that I can say this with a smile and know that her pain has finally ended.

RIP J.D.
I hope you've found the peace you so richly deserve.

WOW...just WOW

I HAVE to go to this!

No question about it!

http://www.inspiredproductions.co.uk/event_detail.aspx

Doctors

Imaginitive title for today's post (yawn!)

Had my doctor's appointment today, a day late, and accompanied by a good friend, who has been a constant support.
The guy didn't tell me much that I didn't already know, i.e that I have issues that need addressing. Wee yeah, that's why I'm here.
But hey, he was good, sympathetic and he listened and rather than a doctor/patient set up there was an adult/adult interaction which I am grateful for.

Well his diagnosis is 'quite an intense form of depression' which doesn't really surprise me but i've been referred to a psychologist for 'specialist help' which I'm not really relishing the thought of.

But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!

Looking up?

I'm quite relieved to say that after a turbulent few months where I've had more than I really care to think of thrown at me and found my emotions in tatters, I can finally say I remember the sensation of happiness or at least content-ness (real word?) at last.
Yes content would sum me up at the moment.

I feel I am back on track in many aspects of my life and I have some form of vision for my future and I don't wake up feeling dread for the oncoming struggles.
The past few months have had a long lasting effect on me and I'm still battling demons as a result.
But I've found myself feeling happy with my lot again, which is a drastic improvement.

Ironically, as soon as I manage to say these things, I manage to get my much needed doctors appointment which, I've avoided like the plague up til now.
I know I am far from beating the troubles I've been having and I know that while my latest spell has abated, it won't be the last I;ve seen of it. I won't be naive and say oh well it's passed, why bother.
So I WILL be going to the doctors tomorrow.

And I just need to take the opportunity to thank people who have been such a help through this, with two in particular, one who will probably be the first to read this and the other who has offered to go with me to the doctors tomorrow.
Both of you have been rocks, more than you know, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, where you will always have a place.

You know who you are. xx

To J
Happy Birthday Darling!! xxxx

A rare Saturday away from work and, while I still can't remember booking it and still am wondering why I would book a Saturday off and not a Sunday, I was grateful for the opportunity to be lazy. As the next few months promise no days off with school taking up the five weekdays and work occupying the weekend, I've made sure to make the most of this free day.
Nothing to report I've done, as it's been next to nothing. I managed to sit and enjoy a good book, which I haven't done for nearly a year, spend some time with my dad and am now looking forward to a slobbing out evening before returning to the 'slogging guts out' routine.

Well that taught me!

Ever the prankster, I can't let the girlfriend's birthday to pass without playing some form of joke on her. So I picked up any random item, which turned out to be a bottle of dettol cleaner and decided to wrap it up and hand it to her, in all seriousness, to see how she would react (wrapped of course!)

She is fairly renowned for her blonde moments so I am fairly sure that, had it gone ahead, she possibly wouldn't have thought I was joking and would have politely thanked me for my gift and pretended as best she could that she loved it. And therein lies my immature kick out of it.

As it happens however, I had stored the dettol in my bag and as I was walking, suddenly felt a worrying wet patch forming on my behind. Knowing that I hadn't felt the sensation of an uncontrollable bowel system, the next thought to spring to my mind was 'Dettol!'

Off comes the bag, my shirt and trousers are soaked and smelling oh so fresh and I pull out the bottle which is only half full and dripping out of a split at the bottom.
Well my worksheets are going to smell nice for a while and I have quite the bleachy bottom!
I guess I got my comeuppance for having a slightly cruel streak :(

I must say I am moved and saddened by the news of Steve Irwin's sudden death.
The Australian wildlife fanatic often took risks and it looks like this one didn't pay off. As he approached a stingray, he was pierced by it's venemous sting and pronounced dead.
Sadly it seems as if his many critics who claimed he took too many risks have been proven right.
After watching (and enjoying) some of his programmes, it must be admitted that his death was just lying in wait, threatening to strike at any time, as it has. Many of his actions bordered on insane stunts and I guess his luck has run out, leaving behind a young family.

It is very sad news indeed as he was a chirpy personality. I hope he rests in peace.

Regular visitors to 'The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two' will no doubt be aware of my negative stance towards education, in particular my previous and upcoming years in sixth form.
Over the past few months, I have found my faith in my own skills and my trust in education to provide an adequate future floundering and, where my views on that are concerned, my stance hasn't changed. I whole heartedly believe that the path through non-compulsory school and towards university is overrated and unessential for a good lifestyle in years to come.
However, I may as well make the most of the resources I currently have. Just last week, if I returned to school early, the point of me being there would be non existant.
It would be a case of 'well I've come this far, let's just get this last sodding year out of the way'
Well, a firm kick up my own arse later and I have convinced myself that I may as well put my entire efforts into getting what I can, qualifications wise. As, while they're not as important to me as they may be to others, it can't hurt to possess them surely. I'm not relishing the prospect of another year at the terribly run sixth form department at my school but, despite the poor surroundings and even poorer big shots that 'run' it, I am going to focus my full potential into it and get what I can out of it. I'm no longer nuts over school so if I fail I'm not going to cry over it.
But at least I will know I have tried.
And if I don't fail? Well, hey, that's just an added bonus.
I won't know if this fresh outlook on the whole situation will come to sufficient fruition to make life at school bearable until next week, but fingers crossed and at least I'm making that effort that I was afraid had vanished into oblivion.

I really am in the wrong job.

After another strenuous day twisting myself to satisfy the continuously absurd demands of the general public I feel there are a few thinks I must straighten out to the customer. The reason I am doing so here is because if the opportuniy/temptation arose when I really wanted to say it, I would no doubt lose my job.

Firstly...the phrase you use when you approach me at my checkout that takes the form of 'I thought I'd come to you because you look bored' really doesn't wash with me. I don't know what kind of life you think I lead but seeing someone approaching me with a trolley full of barcodes to scan and items to pack really doesn't excite me and isn't a renowned remedy for boredom.
And what would you do if you saw me looking happy at my checkout? You'd walk on by I presume?

And also when you're the first customer in the store on a Sunday morning, having waited outside locked doors for fifteen minutes and you jovially approach me and joke about your own desperation to buy DIY goods...I don't find you funny. I still find you sad and feel you are an irritation. Nothing you can possibly say or do will change my mind. If you wait outside a store for it to open the you need a life. Period.

When you approach me for a refund and are in the depths of despair that a replacement product happens to be out of stock, your wailing and tantrums will not allow me to materialise your desired goods out of thin air. And, this may surprise you but your constant complaints about how hard your life has become as a result of this 'out of stock' crisis will not induce any sympathy on my part. Quite the opposite in fact. It will make me resent you for making an issue out of something so trivial when other people are going through much worse things. And when the person who has the power to solve your issue resents you, you may be out of luck if you're hoping for your item in the near future.

I also find it absurd that some of you can walk into a store while you have a nauseating aroma surrounding you. Is personal hygeine lost on you? I do not want to have to smell a sewer full of decomposing horses that have been eating rotten brussel sprouts when I come to serve you. Also, if I'm in close enough proximity to be able to feel your breath then it's courteous of you to ensure you arrive having brushed your teeth or slushed some mouthwash about. The 'safety at work' guidelines cover being knocked out by bad breath as well, in my book. Please, if you're on the way to this shop, take a minor detour to the newsagents and invest in some breath mints and deodrant.

If I am talking to someone in the shop, chances are we are conducting a conversation of some kind. So it is not polite or even acceptable for you to amble over and interrupt with your own question. The fact that I am engaging in an exchange in words with another person and holding eye contact usually means I am already busy serving someone. You wouldn't interrupt a conversation at home or on the street. Becoming the customer who is always right doesn't give you the added benefit of being inpolite.
Oh and on the same vain...if I am carrying packs of laminate flooring or a heavy fireplace, I am obviously not able to direct you to an aisle at this point. You may have to wait.

And you may think that giving me the right change is doing me a favour but let's weigh the situation up shall we? I have a queue which I am trying to shorten. You open your purse and empty a heap of coppers onto the desk. You proceed to count them all out individually and upon doing so, pass me the pile on your hand which I then have to recount for myself. After standing waiting, then counting a pile of change I then have to deposit each coin into it's respective tray in the till, one by one.
Please...just pass me a fiver. My till has plenty of change. I can give you it. Thanks for the lovely thought and all...but it doesn't help. And if you're so eager to get rid of your change stop being so damned tight and put it in a charity box!

Technology is advanced...but my till isn't magic. Sometimes it is possible to expect just a bit too much. Telling me a vague description of an item you want does not give me the ability to 'find it on my till' And if my till doesn't have an ability...no amount of begging from you will inspire me to travel to head office and re-program all of the tills to satisy you. While you expect too much of these tills, you then go to the other extreme when a disagreeable price comes up. 'The till must be wrong' You expect it to find articles, know all of your details because you happened to make a purchase four years ago but it can't scan an item properly? Do make up your mind.

And really, is it totally necessary to drift in two minutes before closing to place a complex order you have had all day to do? It may not seem like it but we have a life outside our work uniform and finishing our shift at the designated time is preferable to additional minutes seeing to your needs and consequent ingratitude. We do actually have homes and shockingly prefer them to our workplace. Just a thought. Maybe give it some consideration.

And while you're in the consideration mode, think about this. For what possible reason would I LIKE to carry out a long refund, order huge amounts for delivery or phone around other stores to find a certain item. Asking me if I would LIKE to do it will get you a polite response...but is there really much sense in the question? Hey it's my job so I'll do it for you...but it certainly isn't something I would like to do. Funnily enough I don't get a warm glow in my heart and allow my bladder to give way in sheer excitement when I see you approaching, receipt in hand with a trolley full of unwanted items. So no I wouldn't really like to. It's tedious, it's an inconvenience. And implying that you should get special treatment from me because you are a regular spender won't fetch much success. I'm a 17 year old student in a part time role. I don't care about the shop's takings. If I had the choice of licking your arse and being your slave or you not coming to the store at all I know which it'd be.

And here's my final suggestion...perhaps you shouldn't come to me when you shop at the store I work in. Because I seem to have pretty high standards for you to meet as my ideal customer ;)

Don't hold your breath...

So...the step bastard has decided that he is giving up on alcohol. He's trained his single, deformed brain cell which occupies the dense space inside of his mis-shapen head to realise that alcohol and his unwelcome habit of being a control freak may be connected in some not so distant way.

Having established this quite marvellous breakthrough in his own personal, warped psychology, he made the declaration that alcohol would vacate his lifestyle. Simple as that. Not another drop of the stuff.

Yeah right

Taking his 'becoming a wanker' fuel from him is like taking a fish out of water. The withdrawal symptoms are dangerous enough on an intelligent being so goodness knows what effects they will have on him. I'd be willing to bet that his attitude wouldn't improve.
Hey, here's a thought. Maybe it's not all the alcohol's fault. Maybe you act like a complete selfish pratt all the time because...well, you ARE a complete selfish pratt?
Just a thought, what would I know?

Well whatever happens I can't see the household being freed from his controlling clutches quite yet.
He plans to go to the pub tomorrow.
Orange juice all round is it?

Not Likely.

I swear they just get stupider

Okay so my first day in my new job. Having had a quick ten minute training, I was told that I was on my own with it for four days while the other person who does it had a long weekend. Great.
So there I was, piles of paperwork and not a clue how to do it. I managed to crash two computers in the process of printing, I went on a wild goose chase to find some stock that someone had already done but hey I eventually got it all worked out through my amazing powers of initiative.
Pfffft but hey it resembles completion in some form.
So, half an hour before the end of my shift and after a stressful day i've managed to get it all done when along comes a customer and orders thousands of pounds worth of goods. I go through the order form, we then go through a further form to apply for a card, put it through the till, exchange receipts and she goes on her way. As she goes to exit she turns around and says 'I hope you don't presume that the address I've given is the delivery address, as I don't live there anymore'
Errr what!?
'Yes and that phone number is my old one so you may struggle to get a hold of me.' You think!?
'Would it help if I gave you my current address and phone number?'
It WOULD have helped when I was doing the order. I mean, of all the stupid things...the dozy cow doesn't even seem to know where she lives!
Asking for an address isn't the most difficult of things and excuse me for being stupid enough to presume that the address she gave me was the correct one.
Off she ambled, blissfully unaware that she'd open a whole new can of worms and excessive paperwork for me to do before I could go home.
When I eventually got all orders sorted, reordered, refunded and resold I was well over half an hour past my finishing time.

Some people are just beyond me at times.

What a let down

It's always quite a hurt when you turn to people you expect will be there for you when you need them only to be brought back down to earth with a crash.
Once in a lifetime I would deem harsh enough. It's quite a blow that leaves you stunned for someone to offer no support when it is someone you always thought you could rely on for it.
but twice in the space of a week?

It just lets me know who I can trust and class as a friend.
Well, maybe not. Moreso who I CAN'T.
And when one is your mother and the other your girlfriend, you know you're not doing well.

Buggering shit!!!

The Fruit Bowl: Season Sixteen Spoilers.

Season Sixteen kicks off next week. Here are the details of what's to come. Again, there are ten series in this season but there is also a Halloween special between Season Sixteen and Season Seventeen.

Also don't forget to vote in the Season Fifteen awards.

Edition 151:
We pick up where we left off and Paula is in a dilemma as she has two suitors vying for her attention. Will she go ahead with her wedding to Russo or abandon her plans in favour of old flame Mr Stanton?
In the wake of Sheena's botched attack on Ms Poulter, Alyssa is in hospital and only Mark knows the truth about what happened. Ms Poulter uses her unique brand of persuasion to ensure Alyssa doesn't find out what went on...
Meanwhile, shockwaves reverberate round the village as Rarin and Dom announce their engagement whereas locals berate one time friend Stella for protecting Colin.

Edition 152:
Rebecca's arrival on the scene has left Mark in a daze. As she moves in with him, how is he going to break the news that he is already spoken for to lovelorn Alyssa?
When Sheena relates her suspicions about Alyssa's injuries to Nancy, it's not long before the raging mother is confronting Ms Poulter. But has she bitten off more than she can chew?
Alyssa gets the shock of her life when she witnesses Greg hit Siobhan. Can Greg silence the youngster to stop his true colours being exposed?
Meanwhile, Mr Stanton confides in Sheena that he thinks Ms Poulter was resonsible for his split with Paula while Stella is left in a bad state when a brick thrown through her window collides with her.

Edition 153:
Ms poulter has a new empire as she uses the remainder of Boonp's money to buy the school and Kate isn't happy to find herself demoted.
Mark is playing with fire trying to keep Alyssa and Rebecca away for eachother. How long can he lead a double life?
Sheena starts to play detective and enlists Linford's help to discover the truth about the night of Mr Stanton and Paula's split.
Elsewhere, Stella realises she has no friends left while Dom punches Luco during a heated argument.

Edition 154:
The investigations continue into the split of Mr Stanton and Paula and when Ms Poulter gets wind of it she is furious to learn that Sheena has been meddling...
Rarin fights back at Noto saying she doesn't care if she and Dom have to marry alone and Mark has to break some news to Alyssa, leaving her to flee in tears to the woods. But, as she crosses the path of convicted pervert Colin, has she walked straight into danger?
And Charles finds himself sacked as Ms poulter makes herself at home in the school.

Edition 155:
Alyssa manages to escape crazed Colin's clutches and as Stella realises that her son will never change she lashes out leading to a scuffle that has fatal results...who ends up dead?
There are two weddings at risk as Dom admits that the negative feelings are getting to him and CHarles has to tell Callie that, now he has no job, they can't afford a wedding.
And, as Ms Simpson and Ms Poulter comes to blows, Mr Stanton's investigation comes to fruition...he finally realises what Ms Poulter did the night of his split with Paula

Edition 156:
Ms Poulter is desperate for revenge and fabricates photos of her and Linford together, But, when Alyssa refuses to plant them for her she lashes out an could be about to lose the only friend she had left.
Rarin and Dom make a decision and Mr Stanton tells Paula the truth about their split...but is it too late to salvage their relationship?
Rebecca invites her friend Jade to stay with them and it soon emerges that three is a crowd. And one resident is about to see the venemous side to jade's personality...
Meanwhile, Ms poulter oversees maintenance on the school and Callie climbs the scaffolding to confront her. When the fight turns violent, Callie is soon regretting her actions as she is sent plummeting from the top...

Edition 157:
Mark tells Jade to leave when he spots her stealing from Rebecca's purse, but she turns the tables and he is soon in the frame. How will Rebecca react?
Ms poulter takes delight in admitting to Mr Stanton that she framed him for sleeping with Nancy and he lashes out in full view of the public.
And it's not the only framing that Ms poulter is doing as she accuses Kate of ogling girls getting changed for PE. Will her claims land an innocent Kate into hot water?
And Noto finds himself attracted to newcomer Jade...but is he about to get his fingers burnt?

Edition 158:
Following his heartache at the hands of Jade, Noto turns his rage on Rarin and Dom and refuses to ever bury the hatchet even though Luco has stopped them from leaving.
Jade resorts to blackmail in exchange for getting Mark out of hot water with Rebecca...but does she have a hidden agenda?
Ms poulter is on her cruellest form as she uses threats of violence to get Alyssa to back up her claims against Kate.
Meanwhile, Ms Simpson gets a taste of greg's true colours and Paula loses her temper and punches Ms Poulter.

Edition 159:
Dom and Rarin prepare to tie the knot but, after a run in with the manipulative Jade, Noto turns up determined to ruin the day...how far will he go?
Ms poulter is smug as everything seems to be going her way...but how long before her luck runs out?
Rebecca and Mark prepare to book a holiday but are concerned when they realise they don't have the funds to afford one. While Rebecca is convinced they just miscalculated, Mark's suspicions turn to Jade.
And Ms Simspon becomes trapped by Greg as she forgives him, leaving him in control of yet another life.

Edition 160:
After excessive run ins with the village, Ms poulter is left shaken but is still firmly in control of the situation.
That is until a gun is pulled and she is shot in the dead of the night. As she lies bleeding to death in the street, will she survive the vengeful attack?
And who pulled the trigger?

Edition 161: (Halloween Special)
As a visitor passes through the village there is a grim atmosphere in the air and as night falls, a series of supernatural events throw the locals into chaos.
Ghostly visits from past faces may seem harmless, but danger lurks around every corner and not everyone will survive the night of horror that awaits...

I am sick of my future being laid out for me by other people.
The disappointment of sixth form turning out to be nothing more than an open prison has put me off education in the most sourest of fashions and the prospect of further studies right now just don't appeal to me in any shape of form.
Perhaps the beckon of a university life might deliver the promised independance that sixth form has thus far failed to but, at this moment in time, all it's enough to think about getting this last dreaded year of school out of the way.
It's quite sad. Ever since I can remember, I have been studious and despite years of bullying and social torment at school I only managed to shake off and turn around a couple of years back, I was enthusiastic about school.
Every piece of homework, every bit of effort, I did it all and relished it. School was the way forward and now, in the last year that I should be dreading because it means I will be losing something that was part of me for a long time has become something I want over with just so I can get rid of school.
Sixth form has turned my stomach to sickness where education is concerned. it has made me not give a damn. it's results day this week. But I don't know the date, nor do I care about my impending grades.
Everyone around me is forever putting pressure on me to get high grades, go to university and be a financial success yet nobody seems to care what I actually want to do. University, due to my loss of reliance on the education system has become a prospect that is no longer essential or even necessary to me.
This is my expected path because I'm 'bright'
So all those years of studying and working hard has effectively left me trapped.
Hey, now I know why it was all worth it...

The right decision?

For a few days it has been lingering in my mind that, for the sake of us both, based on my 'issues' with stress that I should reject an important person from my life.
Tonight, I made my final decision on the matter and told J that I feel we should just be friends.
In the past I have had to do this because I didn't like the person. this time I am doing it because I am afraid of liking this person too much.
I've been down the road of falling for someone and being heartbroken...I am not doing that again.

What I'm afraid of now is that I have just done that very thing to someone else, someone that despite my reasons for doing it, I still care for very much.

Did I do the right thing?

I should learn to hold my temper...

...because now, thanks to my clenched fist, I now need a new printer!
BAH!

Time to oneself

I had the rare occurence of a weekend off this week and took advantage of the spare time to chill out and relax.
I went out to spend some time with J and stayed with her for the weekend. From Friday night to Monday morning it was a relief to be able to enjoy some time for me and her, some time to relax, some time to have a laugh and ignore the pressures of home life, work and illness among other things which have been pressing on me lately.
There wasn't a particular flurry of activity but it didn't matter, we spent a day doing the shops (albeit mostly the girly ones) in newcastle with a few friends and we slobbed out in front of lame, cheesy but oddly satisfying films. On the Sunday, what was meant to be a short walk between just myself and her escalated into a ten mile trek through the pouring rain and we ended up home, soaked to the skin, covered in muck and scrapes and I learned the lesson that I should always check the weather forecast thoroughly before wearing a white t-shirt.
Aside from a brief strike of illness, it was a carefree weekend, something which I've needed for a long time and something which has done me the world of good.

When will it end?

So another weekend packed to the brim of sickness and feeling 'not too goodery'
A particularly harsh spell of queasiness struck and I found myself dashing like a maniac too and from the toilet to empty what appeared to be the vast contents of my stomach and possibly the rest of my body into the toilets at work in between serving unpleasant ladies and gentlemen of the public.
My painful spells of vomiting culminated in a short period of passing out, something I have not experienced for quite some time.
In the middle of a 46 hour week, it is not a pleasant prospect to be feeling ill to this degree and I hope it manages to hold itself off at least for the time being when I can give it more of my attention and focus.
Hey I have a weekend holiday coming up...perhaps it can ruin that?
I'll pen it in my diary.

Thinking Of You

It's heartbreaking to have to say that a tragedy has befallen a good friend of mine. Her daughter, who had been excitedly expecting twins, miscarried this week.
My warmest thoughts are with you both in this difficult time.
Be strong.

An eye opener

At the moment, my home has been invaded by two young children come teenagers. Naturally, with their arrival, a significant clutter has been left and among the game boy cases and Mcfly Cds I saw a teenage girl's magazine. While I was waiting for a meal to finish cooking, I started absent mindedly flicking through, to see what 12-15 year old girls would read.
I was quite taken by surprise. While I knew that children were educated about sex at an early age, it is a different thing altogether to encourage it.
An article titled 'how to really get your boyfriend to love you' involved advice on how to talk dirty and how to perfrom successful oral sex.
And then there was a main spread feature called 'my first time sex' which was a number of quotes from the magazine readers discussing the loss of their virginity. There were tales of drunk fourteen year olds in the bed of a parent, a thirteen year old having unprotected sex with a fifteen year old and two 'soulmates' who found the right time...and split up2 weeks later.
The worst thing was...there was not one negative thing in these quotes. The phrase 'no regrets' popped up incessantly and some described their experiences proudly and said things like: 'now I don't need to feel left out'

Well...just wow. Next time someone ponders why underage pregancy has soared over the last few years, I'll pass them the subscription details to this magazine

This made me larf...

Stole this from Fletch! Sue me!

International Rules Of Manhood:

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag party may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mates fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man . In fact, even remembering your mates birthday is strictly optional.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever! Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza , but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever!

29. If you walk into a bathroom and a man is using one of the urinals, you must have at least 1 urinal spaced between the two of you. No exceptions!

It should be against the law...

...to bring back a used toilet seat to a store.

Yeuch!

Okay, maybe just a bit TOO deep?

As someone openly skeptical about all things love, romance and relationships, I've recently been considering the situation a couple of friends are in with growing frustration and confusion.
It's like this. They were good friends and are now an item. HE is convinced it is love. So is she.
So convinced it's love they are IN LOVE. So convinced it's love that they feel the need to say I love you every waking moment.
So in love that they also worry when I love you is not said. Or are concerned the other doesn't feel the same. Or wonder if for some reason an impending split is coming on when the other doesn't grope, molest and snog furiously every five minutes.
This paranoia manages to drive a wedge between them every single week without fail. There a tearful phone calls, obsessive texts, awwkard situations, threats to splits then joyous declarations of love...before another thing kciks it all off the next day.
So with all this going on...where is the time to actually enjoy the relationship?
Call me an idiot, but surely the whole idea of a relationship is to spend time with someone you care about, see them, enjoy their company, have a laugh and feel special?
Not argue constantly about who loves who more?
Saying I love you all the time, after every email, in every sentence, will soon render the phrase defunct. it's a very intimate and special set of words, arguably one of the most influential and important phrases you will ever use. You are taking the special element out of it if it is used in this way, surely.
And a relationship shouldnt always be about seriousness and commitment. Those serious, romantic and important moments where you share things, admit your feelings and declare your devotion to that person should be combined with light hearted times spent with eachother. With the best friend in your whole world, you're meant to have a laugh as well. you';re meant to joke together. If you're writing love sonnets and feeling the need to assure your commitment to the other person every moment of the relationship, it is no longer special and just becomes routine and expected. Which takes the whole point of those 'special' moments away.

Personally I can't see what they are both fighting for. All they seem to be striving to keep is more aggrivation, stress and paranoia. Somewhere along the line they have lost the way and forgotton what a relationshiop is actually about.

Routine Boredom

I've never got the whole strict routine thing. Where you rota your life to the exact minute and avoid straying from the plan.
What I'm talking about is setting up a day by day routine. All right, so some things are unavoidable. Work for example, you can't just wander in whenever you please or just decide that you don't want to go in.
But setting your entire life up like a rota puzzles me. I cannot see the enjoyment of living your days where everything is the same day in, day out. Where nothing is ever unexpected and surprises are actually irritating as opposed to interesting. Even the bad stuff manages to spice things up a bit.

Naturally, a specific example has prompted my thoughts down this line. The step bastard sticks his life to a routineand I've decided that this is the reason he is such a dreary little bore.
His routine is like so:

7am: get up
7.15am: (not a minute before or after mind you) Brush teeth
7.30am: go to work
2pm: return from work. Open mail.
2.15pm: do some gardening
3.15pm: Social time. 15 minutes recreation
3.30pm: Make sandwiches for work the next day
4pm: (yes the sandwiches DO take half an hour!) Wipe down benches
4.15pm: Ensure kitchen area is tidy. Enlist assistance of a sweeping brush if required
4.30pm: Water the plants
5pm: bath time
5.30pm: Dinner time
6pm: Watch the news
7pm: Television time. A time also reserved for throwing back copious amounts of beer
10pm bedtime

Weekends only have a couple of differences. Work is replaced by more time to throw back lager. Add at the end of routine, a violent argument, just to spice things up..
Well it is the weekend you know.

I couldn;t live my life to a schedule. It would suck all the fun out of life. I say, live for the moment, expect the unexpected and just go with the flow.
Because nothing brands you a target for fate to screw you over as much as forward planning

Chicken!

Well, today was the day of my much anticipated and dreaded visit to the doctor regarding my recurring 'issues' with stress and deperession.
I am unaware of what these sessions entail and didn't relish the prospect of discussing personal things. On top of this, there were some bad things I'm not sure I particularly want to delve into right now.
So, coward that I am, I used a trip to a friend's house to avoid this and cancelled the appointment, as I was nervous about it.
Yes, it might be further denial. And yes, I certainly don't feel good or brave about it.
But then again, it is a bit of a relief that I'm not there now.

I will go to the next one! I just need a good kick up the arse and a courage transplant.

My latest alter ego...

...is a creepy, sleazy, sex obsessed pervert with an eye for his adopted daughter.
Don't worry, I'm not going schizophrenic on you all.
The character synopsis above refers to the latest part I will play on stage.
I have been cast as Judge Turpin in Sweeney Todd: The Musical, a part famed for nude self bondage, bringing himself to orgasm on stage and rape.
I can't wait...*gulp*

Not impressed.

Okay, so the legions of fans who obsessively check The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two for any sign of updates will have noted my recent abscence. This, shock, horror, is down to a particularly strong bout of an illness I'm starting to get so used to.
This required me to take a week off of school, and, after several phone calls from them, during each of which they were assured that my reason for abscence was genuine, they proceeded to accuse me of truanting on my return. The attendance officer suggested I speak to the head of year to clear my name.
But, I'm sorry, why do I even have to clear my name. As someone who regularly attends and puts effort into school and has done for a decade, I expected to have been believed. It is not an unnatural occurance for someone to be ill. It happens. Half the staff at that school are on sick leave for over a year at some point in their career. Many students in my year blatantly take time off to socialise, go shopping and attend concerts etc, yet I am pulled up when I have the ordasity to be unwell.
I swear, if my head of year gives me grief tomorrow when I go to see him, I'm jacking the hole lot of it in and leaving that school. Because I seriously don't know why I should bother.

'Me and my life' Meme

I always get round to answering tags I receive from elsewhere and, Sue, it may have taken me nearly a month, but I have got round to this one eventually! Better late than never!

What was the last song you listened to? What effect did it have on you? Did it remind you of anything?
It was Paranoid Android by the rock band Radiohead. It's an emotive and rather depressing song which fitted the mood I was in. It is passionate and reminded me first and foremost of what was already on my mind...and also of times spent with my dad just after my parents marriage broke down and he took me to a Radiohead concert in Glasgow.

Are you employed? What is your role in your job and do you enjoy it? Relate a memorable experience from your work.
I work in the customer service department of a retail store and overlook the running of the department and the checkouts, mostly at weekends. I have to deal with the dribs and drabs of the community who come in their quantities with inane questions, complaints and demands. Oh, and rarely, we do get a pleasant person to serve as well. I can't really relate a particular experience because, as most will probably tell you, I have one of the world's worst memories. But there have been some big funnies with both colleagues and customers! Do I enjoy it? It's not bad, as a job goes at this age and it demands quite a big deal of responsibility. But it's not where my future lies.

Did you have a happy childhood?
Mostly, yes. Obviously the divorce of my parents was a crushing blow but it became my belief and remains so still that it was for the best in the long run. The arrival of a stepdad on the scene who was less than pleasant didn't do much and I was a shy kid at school so it wasn't until middle school when I actually made friends. There were some good happy times though and, in comparison to many childhoods, I am very lucky.

What are your favourite TV shows?
Bad Girls is great, nail biting and rather trashy. it's a great drama and I find myself addicted every year. And Family Guy never fails to make me howl with laughter. Those two aside, I don't really catch much TV.

They say that in life, you will only ever have a handful of people you could class as true friends...and you will be able to count them on one hand. Who are five people you would class as friends? Briefly describe them.

D has been my friend for a long time. We must have come from the same pod at some point as we have the same sense of humour and often finish eachothers sentence or say the same thing at the same time. Like me, he is completely off his rocker, though he controls it a lot less than I do. he is one of the funniest people I have ever met, and he is a good friend.

M has emerged as a really close friend in the space of a few weeks. He has been there through a particularly rough patch and he is incredibly easy to talk to. He is outgoing and good fun to be with, but I know when there's something preying on my mind that I will be able to have a serious conversation with and hope he feels the same vice versa.

J may have abandoned me but she is a great chuckle and a fabulous chick to be around! She made those drab work weekends a lot brighter and I know that while she may not be as close geographically anymore that we won't lose touch and she is someone I feel I can talk to. She's had a rough ride and I respect her for still being on top (don't take any innuendos from that!)

I have never met A but, speaking to her both online and via the telephone, I have found that she will pull me out of many a dark hole I'm in. Not only that, but she is totally crazy and funny with it

And J and I are almost kindred spirits. She has the same passions I do and the same interests and she is side splittingly funny, and I do love her very much! Yet again I have never met her but sincerely hope I do one day as she is one in a million!

Now I know that this question says 5, but I must add H to this list for being such a sweetie all the time! She's a great laugh and also the star of my drama class. When I'm not laughing at the fact we're forever insulting eachother, I can talk to her as a genuine friend and appreciate that she is a fantastic person.

Do you have any siblings? Describe them briefly. Do you get on?

I have one brother who I couldn't possibly be closer to. He's a funny guy and our fallouts are becoming rarer as time passes by. In the past we have had major fights but they wouldnt have been so emotionally and physically draining if we didn't care. He is always there to turn to, without exception and he is the member of my family who I am closest to.

What is your hobby?

My hobby is also my passion...I love to act!

What is your all time favourite book?

Oh wow, that is such a difficult question. I really don't know. And I feel bad because I haven't read anything in leisure in such a long time.

When is your normal bedtime?

Later than it should be!

Describe your first love

She was very special and I won't forget her. It all got a bit messy (keen readers may remember a post which discussed this a few months back!) and it took me some time to adjust to life without her. But it all happened for the best, everything is okay, we are good friends now, no hard feelings!

What are your plans for tomorrow?

A very unappealing day of school then work...

What was the last fun thing you did?

Firday and Saturday were good days, Friday was particularly special if you read HERE. And on Saturday I went out with friends and got a little bit...jolly! After quite a rough couple of weeks it was good to let my hair down and be able to smile again. Friday and Saturday did that for me.

Is there a special someone right now? Describe him/her. What is special about them?

There is someone very special right now who is on my mind a lot. She is rather small, which is cute and has the most gorgeous of eyes. She can be quite loud and and is very very funny. We have become increasingly close over a few months and are getting closer, in my view. She's genuine, kind, selfless and beautiful...I'm a very lucky guy!

Finally, describe yourself in five words

Crazy, honest, sensitive, cuddly, strange

I won't tag anyone as this takes quite a while to fill out! But it's here should anyone be experiencing blogger's block in the future!

Oh, the nerve!

Some people try anything to get a few bob off something and, at the store where I work, there has been a regular visit pulling a regular 'fast one' for unauthorised discount.
Her method, quite simply, is to pick her desired item, find a cheaper priced item and take the label from it, to put it over the more expensive ones.
She is a regular shopper and even uses her toddler son as a lookout for employees. The whole workforce are now wise to her and she made another such attempt at thievery this afternoon.An item that normally costs 14.99 came through the till at 2.99. I had prewarned the staff in the department that she was in the area so the cashier queried it with me and, right enough, I saw the label did not have the name of the same product on it. The woman quickly tore off the label with a feeble 'oops' and while I went to check the price, she complained that she had to get away to her father's in a hurry.
She was forced to pay full price for the item so as not to expose herself.
Methinks she might not be so eager to try it next time.

Prom night

It's one of those rare occasions that a person will remember (hopefully fondly) for the rest of their lives. The opportunity todress up to the nines, take a loved one on your arm and celebrate the end of compulsory education that has taken ten to eleven years of hard graft to complete.
It's a culmination of a life you have been used to since you can remember...the necessity that you go to school, attend four or five lessons each weekday and see your group of friends for social breaktimes. Now, all of a sudden, your life and where it goes from here is in your own hands and some decisions for the future have to be made. It's by this time that you need some form of vision for where you want to be and where you want your life go.
But hey, before that it's party time. Perhaps why this night is so important in every youth's life (admittedly more particularly in girls who feel pampered and special with the opportunity to pull out all the stops to looks stunning and feel like a princess)
Well, this was what was in my head this time last year as my prom approached. My friends planned to attend, my girlfriend of the time was going to be my date and it was going to be a lot of fun. But work soon put paid to that and because of a colleagues holiday, I was unable to get the night off. I have never pulled a dishonest sickie in my life and don't think I ever shall...but never was I more tempted than night.
However, I went without my prom and that was that. opportunity missed.

In recent months...(it feels like a lifetime, actually) I have become increasingly close to a 'special someone' who just so happens to be a year younger than I am. The path of true romance never does run smoothly and I don't think anyone can appreciate this quite so much as me and her (who I shall call J for the purpose of this post). Four months on, and a lot has happened. But, while I won't go into detail with that, she did invite me as her date to her prom. And last night, I was all dressed up in an incredibly uncomfortable dinner suit and heading with a stunning J by my side to a posh hotel...in a zebra colour 'wildlife' minibus!
The dignified event gave everyone the opportunity to scrub up well, and everyone who I know certainly made a good job of that. I am certainly glad that my 'prom experience' occured a year later as I'm sure I enjoyed it a lot more than I would have a year ago, mainly due to the company I was in.

Now, I know I still have two promises of photos to uphold of my fancy dress day and my holiday but I'm adding another promise to the list that, yes, prom pictures are on their way to 'The Diary Of mr Slug Take two' So, try and contain your excitement and they'll be here as soon as possible.

In the meantime, I hope everyone who reads this who shared in a fab night out with me last night had as good a time as I did.
And particular notes and mentions to J, who knows how special she is to me.

Back in Business

I must admit, it's been a rather tetchy week, in a great deal of ways.
In a week where my state of emotions have fallen below the line of 'just not good' I have been faced once again with the very same decision I thought I had finalised a few weeks ago.
What this involved was abandoning my current lifestyle for an undetermined (potentially 3 to 4 months) for the sake of someone else.
I refuse to name my friend, nor the location or the cicumstances as to why the friend needed me to join them there for a long period of time, but, as it stood, I had decided that, yes, it would be necessary and acceptable to take a few months out from waht I was doing, to go to this location.
This would require me either to drop out of my last year of education (possibly temporarily) or ask about being able to catch up, sadly the first of which seemed most tempting to me. Also I would be left without a job, even though I had planned to ask for a temporary transfer to this location, I severely doubted that management would stretch to achieve this for me.
Neither of these were particularly worrying to me. The situation I was sacrificing them for far outweighed them in significance and overall importance.
So, I had my decision made and the weeks leading to the temporary relocation became days and I was forced to reconsider, in particular concerning one particular person that I would risk losing and hurting through it.
The choice, under pressure, was not a pleasant one to make, as someone would be losing out. But, I had to think logically and also was made, by two close friends who know who they are, that I can't afford, nor should I feel the need, to put my life on hold, and someone else's for that matter.
I'd like to give special thanks to Abbi as well, who was there for me a lot in the most stressful part of this decision and consequently the guilt stigmatised to it in the wake of my choice.

What have I learned from it? You can't keep everyone happy any of the time and it doesn't hurt to think of oneself once in a while.

It's a girl!

Congratulations to my good friend, K.B, who has last week become a grandma at the tender age of...mid forties.
After a complicated birth, a healthy young girl finally emerged, albeit a little too light.

Best wishes go out to KB, her daughter and the latest addition to the family

A tentative step

After another few days on the brink of rock bottom-ness after returning to the state referred to HERE, I have made a rather bold (for me) decision to consult someone in the professional field to sort through the battle ground that is my mind.
Whether or not therapy will do any good, I don't know. But I suppose it is worth a try, depsite my copious amount of misgivings.
It would be an understatement to claim that i'm a tad nervous about delving deep into stuff I don't want to talk about and open up my psychology bare to a stranger.
But, if I can walk out any time I want to, there's a slight comfort in the fact that it isn't compulsory.

Err sorry but why should I?

As is the norm in my job, I was presented with a variety of miserable sods complainingtoday, but one had to stand out as one of the most arrogant people I have ever come across.
It comes to her turn after queueing and I greet her in a pleasant manner(of course!) Face like thunder...which has struck Medusa and flown backwards through a bush in fright, she dumps a tin of varnish on the desk, without so much as a word.
I, rather stupidly, presume that she intends to purchase the item, as my powers of mind reading had crashed at this point in the day. As i move to scan it, she pulls it out of the way and demands what I am doing, in a frustrated tone.
Left speechless at having my head ripped off, I say nothing and she offers elaboration in the form of: 'I bought the wrong one, didn't I?'
Oh, of course you did. How stupid of me. I should have known, having watched you get served and followed the continuation of your life right up until the point you realised it was the wrong shade.
By this time, a rather spacious friend who resembled a bulldog not just chewing a wasp, but eating a hive of killer bees with vinegar, had joined her.
I am telling the orignal 'lady' to go and fetch the one she wants so I can do an exchange.
She turns to Rex and says:'Oh so I have to bloody go and get it myself as well as if this wasn't complicated enough.'
Ahem. Sorry, was it me who was dumb enough to come in and choose the wrong tin? Why should it be my job to run after you just because you make mistakes. Like i haven't got a million better things to be doing for better people. And if that is her idea of complexity, presenting a receipt and fetching a tin with the same words as a piece of paper she's holding on the front of it, then she needs to get out more.
Bearing in mind that the varnish aisle is adjacent to the service desk and barely a metre or two away (i could see the tins from where I was standing), I offered to call over a colleague when she stormed off.
By this time she was already up the aisle but Rex says: 'Yes that would be better'
I reasonably said that it doesn't matter now as she was already there. But no, I am once again mistaken.
Rex proceeds to get out her phone and call her friend! I watch, forwning as she says down the end of her phone: 'They're going to get one of their staff to get it'
The woman then emerges from the aisle, bereft of a tin of varnish and arrives back at the desk, offering a hard look. 'Well, where are they then?'
I explain that I haven't yet called anyone and call 'any available assistant' over the tannoy, as if I asked someone specific to help this customer they would have surely presumed I held a grudge.
A member of staff arrives fifteen seconds later and jovially asks how he can help.
'I want a tin of varnish' Helpful.
'Not aproblem. What kind?'
'Ronseal.'
'Okay, that's fine. What colour do you need?'
*looks at Rex* 'Christ sake what is it, twenty f**king questions!? Redwood (or whatever it was!)'
*less jovially than before* Okay I'll see what I can do.

Cue muttering of 'it's not rocket science' between the two women.

By this time a queue had built up and my pathetic excuse of a colleague was too busy talking to someone else and writing a shopping list, so I asked the next person if they wanted help. As this much more pleasant lady began her enquiry, The ROnseal lady butts in saying:'excuse me, you're meant to be serving me'

I offered a curt:'You're being served' but she wasn't having it. But she didn't turn on me. no, she had a go at the customer. 'Wait your turn!'
Before the situation had a chance to escalate, my other colleague returned with the tin and, after checking and double checking and examining with forensics and triple checking that he'd picked up the right one, the transaction completed and they went on their way.

And I hope never to see them again. I won't hold my breath though as the awkward ones are also most common ones.
Such is the world of customer service.

All as bad as eachother!

Every time it is the same. The bloody World Cup just brings out the worst in everyone.
In the english, it brings out exaggerated, hypocritical senses of country pride which are non existant for the other three years and eleven months. It also brings out a competitve streak and the chance to stick the tongue out to Scotland who rarely qualify and allow abuse to fall at the doors of countries such as Germany and France.
Apparantely, being English comes hand in hand with despising every resident in countires we once had a war with. Which, to be fair, should mean that we hate 75% of the world's population.
It really is quite sad that such high levels of racism and bitterness between countries fighting to be the most patriotic should arise over a game of football. The world cup is like a non fatal world war. Countires on the defensive from eachother and on the offensive towards eachother.
And it isn't just England (and those insufferably tacky flags) that are to blame. I have no doubt that other countires who qualify are equally up their own arses.
But Scotland is just as pathetic by refusing to support England and consequently deciding to support any team they come up against, just to spite it.
The childish hate between some english people and some scottish people, based purely on their country is really irritating, and the world cup is not actually about a game of football, but about beating every other country then rubbing it in their faces with insulting words such as 'scotchies' and 'frogs' It's funny how in football, you can be as racist and discriminatory as you like!
The lengths people go to in terms of reactions to a bloody game of football are horrendous and embarassing.
I am half scottish and half english.
During times like the world cup, I am ashamed to admit either.
Grow up for god's sake!

The step-bastard

Human nature determines that we feel threatened if newblood arrives into our familiar territory. I would say this was true of most people. Change is a big thing, and often terrifying,particulalry where people are concerned.
And I must say, after trying for eight long years to maturely accept the new person that gatecrashed my new life, I can finally deem it failed. Everyone who knows me on any personal degree will also be aware of my feelings towards my mum's chosen suitor (I use this word in it's broadest terms)
I have tried extremely hard to get to know the oaf and to get along (and I'll be the first to admit that I'm not necessarily the easiest person to get along with) but it's just not happened. Whether it's my fault or more to do with the fact that he's a thick, immature, abusive, pathetic, tempermental control freak Im not quite sure but whatever it is, I have officially given up making that extra effort for my mum's benefit.
She has made her choice and that choice is for her, but I'm damned if I have to be forced to be happy with it as well.
Especially when she's not happy herself.