Just...Bah!

Well how about this?
You have an exam in the morning and for the whole year your teacher has told you that you can take in notes to help you. Well there I am reading my notes over to familiarise myself with them before tomorrow and I look in a revision guide to see if there's anything I can add.
Imagine my confusion when I come across a sentence which says 'of course you aren't permitted to take any additional notes into the exam'

Oh yeah OF COURSE...

Slightly concerned I check the website of the examination board which confirms my worst fears. The notes I have are useless and I learn at the very last minute it must all be commited to memory. Well that's just brilliant. So why on earth has my teacher been telling me I can take notes in?
I alerted all of my classmates who were equally as surprised and disheartened as me and when we phone our teacher she tells us she's been reading from a specification two years old and didn't realise anything had changed.

Well that's just great!
Thanks, miss...

D'oh!

Yeah, so I'm now regularly doing 4 different jobs silmultaneously at my place of work, the latest addition being the somewhat tedious task of counting, organising, sending away blah blah blah of each day's takings.

Basically this involves locking oneself in a poky little room, surrounded by absurd amounts of money, a tempermental, mistake prone money weighing machine and a calculator. It's a task that one missed step or one miscalculation sees the whole thing plunged into confusion. A mistake is not easy to rectify, even if you know what you've done, and I made a bit of a whopper today.

After all the processes were complete I then had to have the computer work out if the takings I had were all present and correct. Well doesn't the bloody thing tell me I'm £3000 over!? I couldn't even begin to comprehend where I had miscalculated or counted £3000 out. It's normal to have a pound or even up to a tenner but otherwise the procedures are fairly watertight and don't allow for such errors. But when they do, boy are they hard to fix.
Turns out I'd looked at the wrong column and typed the wrong number into the calculator, resulting in that difference.

Sad to think that one tiny little mistake like your eye missing a line can keep me in that office an extra three hours and pound my head more than necessary.

Psssht. They want me to do this every weekend, which is against what I asked when I first agreed to do it. Suddenly every other weekend has increased slightly but if it's going to be as irritating as this, they'll have a fight getting me in there on a regular basis.
Bah!

But one musn't grumble, I'm outta work for the next 7 days. I'm not too excited mind you, the holiday has just been booked to make time for exams.
It's a sad life I lead isn't it?

Monday Blues...or monday snooze?

I don't do lie ins, wasting the morning away in my bed until lunch but tomorrow for the first time in years, I will have the opportunity to do just that.

Do you think if I stay up into the early and progressively later hours of tomorrow morning before I sleep I will then be able to doze until a time that warrants the title of lie in?

It's the first chance I've had in so long and I just want to mark it...because I can!
Logical? Nah! Knowing me I will still get up relatively early anyway and begin to regret my disobedience towards my drooping eyelids

We'll see...!

Good night and I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I'm preparing myself for a severely un-manic Monday and I can't wait! ;)

Click the link!

Just when we thought the movie business had run out of ideas....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMp8mSRiHow

And into June...

It's nice when the heavens open and the sky explodes with thunder and lightning when you're walking home. And with sodden clothes weighing you to the ground, you get the fright of your life when a loud bolt strikes a tree very close to you.
Really nice.
Never been so wet in all of my life

At last!

It's been a long time coming, well over ten years to be exact, but finally, after a particularly difficult two years stuck in the heavily flawed education system supplied in my area, my school life is approaching a forseeable conclusion.
I have five school days left until all I have to do is attend my examinations and already I can feel the intense weight of burden being slowly lifted from my shoulders.
Up until after my GCSE's I saw education and school as my only way to make a decent future but sixth form life, if it's quality is high enough to be classed as that, has totally changed my views.
From being a very dutiful servant to lessons and school tasks, I now cannot wait for it to be a distant memory.
I will certainly miss the social side of it and will hold dearly on to fond memories, but very few will belong in the last two years.

Five days, encounting.

Late night customer service

Saturday night, very starving, convenient fast food joint across the road.
Forgetting the fact that the place was the doldrums and probably maintained the same level of hygeine of a used nappy, I was hungry so went to purchase some substance cunningly disguised as food.
As a waited for the greasy handed, hairnet-less, *cough* cheerful staff to prepare my meal, another customer, slightly worse for the wear comes in and is only physically able to order his meal by stabbing his finger blindly at a menu, my presumption being any movement of his mouth would result in a torrent of vomit flying out.
Next in (yes I did wait quite a while) was a couple of guys who clearly weren't at ease with our language. They managed to order the meal but forgot the magic word.
The stubby chav-woman behind the till glares, chewing her gum meaningfully (and loudly) and says 'Do you not say please?'
After some confusion the men repeat their order (and they are actually saying thank you) and again the response is 'Do you not say please?'
They look confused, bewildered and slightly worried to eachother, wondering what they'[ve done wrong and it would be blatantly obvious to anyone that they just didn't understand, it was clearly not the fact they were inpolite.
She has another try.
'In our country we say please, I take it you people have no manners? Well I'm not serving you'

Being in a retail occupation, this automatically put myself in the situation and I wondered what on earth the consequences would be if I'd have said that to a foreign customer.
This woman clearly has racism issues, especially considering the customer beforehand hadn't just refrained from saying please when ordering but hadn't said anything at all.
It seems that kind of thing is more acceptable at that time of night. Perhaps everyone was too drunk to care but I'd be sacked on the spot, possibly arrested and the company I work for taken to a tribunal and sued if I'd pulled a stunt like that.

Phew..!

The word hectic doesn't even begin to describe things of late.
In the time I've been away, things have been far from quiet, and to be fair, that's often how I like it.

I'm feeling a lot better than I was and am trying to bring things into some state of normality.
Fat chance, I'm still leaping all over the country to attend various hospital appointments and this reached a head right at the peak of my school year, when heckloads of coursework was due in.
Somehow, and unsurprisingly without the support of many school staff who's function and only function is to enjoy a little power craze (bless!), I scraped through this stressful period, made some damn good progress health wise and handed all work in on time, with higher grades than I expected.

Having been told my attitude to school was wrong, (having had the ordasity to be ill) and that I was going to fail if I didn't 'buck up my ideas'.
Well, excuse the impending immaturity, but razz, blah and two pointy fingers to you. You'd give better advice if you used your mouth for the speech function and not your arse.

I ended the week on stage playing a doddery old man (trousers up to the neck and braces to boot. Phwoar!) and the success of the show was a bloody good boost to the confidence.

So thank you to the people who did believe in me and did support me and you guys know who you are.

Wah...

Another day of unabating physical pain and I wonder when It will go away...my latest abscence is due to not very good health and it really is a pain in the arse (theoretically) and a literal pain almost everywhere else.

Psssht...another hospital appointment within a few weeks and in the meantime I guess I should put up and shut up.
Easier said than done, but we have to stay positive don't we.

Hope everyone is well, and I aim for the hundreth time this year to resume blogging service asap.

I half promise ;P

Have a good weekend!

Cello...

Yeah so I may be a stranger round these parts these days.
And these days might be a little underexaggerration in place of 'over a month' but a chain of circumstances has left me unable to make regular visits online or have anything I particulalry want to update about.

To say the past month has been a bit of a physical and emotional rollercoaster wouldn't be stretching the truth and suffice to say, there have been some important developments and life changing things going on to and around me but I've crawled my way back to where I was before, in a state of semi-emotional relaxation; if not a medically accurate term, a fair summary of my current feelings.

So what can I say?
Apologies for leaving my blog unattended for so long.
Thanks to those who sent me emails, text messages etc with concerns and enquiries of my well being
And back to business, if I havent been totally abandoned by my *cough* legions of avid fans

Hope everyone is okay, I'll be catching up on all your blogs in the very near future.

Don't get rid of me that easily I'm afraid ;)

Hmm....What the...

A little NHS gem for you.

A relative was rushed to hospital last week when he found he struggled to go to the toilet and so had to stay for a few days.
When the problem was sorted he ended up sat in just his boxers when the highly professional doctor decided to examine his prostate (which for non biologists among you is situated firmly up the male arse)

Once the check was done, said doctors glove was now less than hygenic. You would presume surely that this glove's next destination would be the bin or another disposal unit of some sort. But sadly not.
You can imagine the patient's confusion when the doctor wipes his finger on the hem of his boxer shorts. And, for that matter, the surprise of the gathered audience.

And we wonder why the NHS have a bad reputation?

<3 <3 <3

Cast your mind back a year and picture 'The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two' and specifically a post related to Valentines Day. Your response is likely to be one of the following.

Either:

1) I didn't go on your blog then

2) or I'm not interested enough in your blog and what you said a year ago to care.

So I'll remind you my stance on the fuzzy lovey day concentrating on couples, which is that it's a commercialised trap forcing couples into showing affection.

I can show affection to my loved one any day of the year and don't see why I can't try and be romantic on any other day except for February 14th but hey, I might as well jump on the bandwagon.

If it makes her smile then its enough for me. Any bigoted opinions I might have on being forced into buying lame gifts and outdoing myself on romantic ideas year after year go out of the window when I see her happy.

So whatever you're doing, whether you're a singleton and staying sensibly sane or a lover and going romantically crazy, Happy Valentines Day to all the readers of 'The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two'

Not for the faint hearted or animal fanatics among you

I've never been a huge fans of dogs, I'm more of a cat person, they're less likely to leave me mauled if they turn fierce.
Buteven if I hated them with all the fierceness in my heart (which I don't) I still would have chosen not to witness what I ddi the other week.
Small-ish border terrier runs away from 12 year old owner across busy main road. Wanders for a bit until gormless owner whistles him back. Unable to weave tactfully through oncoming traffic, the helpless mutt trots onto the road and is walloped head on by a car.
With a screech, a sickeneing thud, the blur of a rolling form sliding under the car and a heartbreaking squeel of agony, it looks like the dog is no more.

Geez it literally made me feel sick. It was the whine of pain that did it.
It was some resiliant dog mind you. It was soon up thankfully and, while it sported two mashed up broken back legs it was alive and limped back to it's owner.

And to add to the week's violent tragedy, I did something equally as stupid and managed to whack my hip, yes my HIP, off a pillar at work, so hard that it bled.
Talk about that dog being resiliant...I tell you I did well to keep the exploding profanities bubbling up at bay!

Hope you have a nice weekend everyone!

Oh and I just noticed...

...I missed my blog's official birthday!!

As of Monday, The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two, has been on the web for a year.

Yay!

Snow Day

Those of you who weren't reading my blog this time last year should probably be let into a little secret.
I..just...LOVE..snow!

And, having been hopeless until this point, winter stopped it's teasing and released waves of it in all it's fluffy white goodness yesterday.

I had been obsessively checking weather sites for any signs (not that I'm sad at all, you understand ;)) and, while a day late, the promised goods were delivered.

Marvellous.
Sadly that may be all until next year but hey

RondeDeJambe

Some plugging for a local band who are doing really well these past few weeks.

RondeDeJambe (A ballet term, if you're interested) consists of four talented guys, pulling off some pretty brilliant performances.
Check out their pages when you get a chance and spend five minutes sampling their tunes.

Who knows, they may be the next big thing!

www.myspace.com/danandpete
http://RondeDeJambe.bebo.com

Well I've been a blogger for a year now and, while currently out of steam due to tiredness, I have no doubt my blog will be celebrating it's second year on the web in the future.

But hey, at the moment, I have a bit of a 'blogger's block' and have no inspiration for any posts. Pffft so if it's inundated with the odd meme here and there, bear with me.

When I regain my energy I'll get this thing back on track!

So someone IS on my side...

It was refreshing today to come across a member of authority who would listen and understand me when I spoke to them
The stand in school headteacher offered a non compulsory appointment to see him regarding my regular hospital appointments and the consequent effects on my school life and, much unlike the head of year who had practically condemned me from going to the hospital, he was extremely helpful and supportive.

We reached some solutions together, as equals and he listened and genuinely cared.
And, for the first time in 2 years I have confidence in that school.

Would you bother?

A friend today has gone to audition for trash...sorry, popular show Big Brother, along with millions of hopefuls across the country.
No doubt he will have to contend with semi naked, babbling, violent, insane, sex obsessed, predatory bisexual, mindless freaks to get into the acclaimed building where cameras follow you as you abuse others, climb into as many beds as you can and go to the toilet.

While my friend merely is going for the experience, there will be many there, flowing embarassing desperation for fame. But why? The one person to last in the celebrity stakes from that house is only famous for being mindlessly thick and is that really a satisfactory way to mould a showbiz career? And even she has effectively destroyed it all over again by repeating the performance.

Surely there's better ways to earn riches than making a total twat of yourself on national television and coming out lacking any shred of dignity. Go on Who Wants To Be A millionaire or something and 8 questions or so in and you've exceeded the prize money for surviving 13 long weeks in that institution.

Wonder if he'll have any interesting stories to tell of the people he met today on his return.
Sadly for him, I don't think he's warped or derranged enough to secure a place in there.

Err...ouch actually

This week I've found myself somewhat unfortunately plagued with agonising chest and back pains which have stalled me from doing much except moaning like a little girl.

The ever so helpful GP told me at the peak of the pains just to wait until the weekend...ie put up with the pains for five additional days and if theyre still as bad go to the hospital.

Pfff...it's still as excruciating, but I hope that it's soon away.