*sigh* When will I ever learn?

Die hard, veteran readers of my blog (all two million of you ;)) will recall the closure of my first blog, The Diary Of Mr Slug when a bout of, self admittedly immature bitching fell into the hands of the very person it was about.
Awkward situations were created by this and the relationship between myself and the person concerned is arguably still, if even just a little, strained. Thus, I decided to end the life of my baby blog and 'Take Two' was born and I haven't looked back since.
Well, there was me swearing I won't make that mistake again.

Pffft fat chance of that. The school librarian, control freak she is, regularly invents her own rules and enforces them upon the people she doesn't like, depending on her mood. More unpredicatable than a menopausal, omnivorous, bisexual dinosaur, it's very hard to tell day by day whether the librarian will like you or loathe you. It's a gamble really.
I was bored one lesson so decided to take a wee bit of the piss. Just a little, you know me, I don't take things too far...:)
SO I made a list of library rules in a spoof that represents her unfair and unbelievable personality and desperation for power. While many of my readers won't understand them as much, not knowing the librarian, I've pasted them below.

List of Library Rules

-If you’re doing homework you must use white paper in the library and cream paper in the study room. Any swapping over will result in loss of library privileges
-Monday is romantic novel day. No other book genre may be read
-No purple stripey ties to be worn in the common room
-If your pen runs out, you will not get a study hour signed for the day.
-You may not whistle in the study room. Whistling is to be done in the to left corner of the library. And this must only be done between 2.15 and 2.45. At a noise level of 3-5. And not using your fingers. Mouth only. And only three students at a time. No exceptions. Disobeying this rule will result in you being sent to the common room
-We are bringing in more comfortable seating areas, bean bags and heating systems. Under no circumstances must these be used.
-You may eat in the common room but Thursday is no bagel day. Anyone caught eating a bagel in the common room on a Thursday will be sent to Mr Elvin
-You may not use the space bar on a computer keyboard more than twenty times in a minute. -Tracking devices are being installed to record how much space bars are used. Anyone caught exceeding the specified amount will be sent to the common room
-If you have a relative in hospital, they must not phone you with updates in the library. If this happens your phone will be confiscated
-You must choose only two friends to sit with each hour. Any other friends must be told that they are fat and sent to diet for the lesson. Failure to do this will result in you being banned from the library.
-Any books by an author with the surname beginning with C,D,F,L or S can only be read on a Wednesday. Any other times are not allowed. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
-Any study that you do must be either an essay or a technical drawing for Systems and Control every Period 2 and 5. Everything else must be done periods 1,3 and 4

I printed off one copy. Just ONE. And somehow, a week later, I heard that a friend of mine was being accused of making a set of rules by the librarian. My heart dropped and obviously I wouldn't let my friend take the rap for it so I had to admit it. Huffily she shrugged and said: 'It doesn't matter, I wasn't even offended.'
But the stories I've heard since suggest that when she read them 'the roof was practically blown off'

Judging by her regular ways, I have no doubt that from now on she will mkae my school life as aggrivating and unpleasant as possible.
Oh well....bothered.