Doctors Take Two

I took the next, and admittedly quite intimidating step in combating my issues with depression recently when I had my first session with a therapist.
In the run up to the meeting, I was a self confessed bag of nerves and began to look for excuses to get out of it.
As tempting as cowardice was, however, somehow I ended up at the reception desk trying to tell a patronising secretary the reason a teenager (because of my age I was evidently there to cause trouble, you see) was visiting.
I was accompanied by my brother who provided a great deal of appreciated support which made what I presumed would be quite an ordeal, a great deal more bearable.

My initial impression of my doctor was not a positive one. Her opening statements seemed to scorn what my GP had written in his report but perhaps this was a technique to get me to explain what was wrong. She was a very dotty woman who didn't appear to be very organised or patient and I felt snapped at at times.
Whether this was genuine or just my nerves trying to make me experience the meeting in the bad way I had anticipated, I don't know but, as time went on, I began to warm to her and discussion began to flow easier.

Many of her questions seemed irrelevant to me, but she obviously knows more about what she needs to know and what she doesn't so I was content to go along with whatever methods she had.
She seemed intent on concentrating on an aspect which I didn't rank as important as others but she gradually moved on to discuss everything I had wanted to bring up.

I left the session feeling neither low nor optimistic. I understand that it's the beginning of quite a long and difficult journey and I can't say that I relish the prospect of confronting everything head on but if I don't try then I can't succeed.

I've been left with a significant amount of 'homework' to do invlving forms, reading and keeping a diary before our next meeting in three weeks time.
But for the moment, I'm just glad I managed to overcome the main significant step of that first meeting and I'll cross the imminent bridges when they are closer.

After a long, suffering battle against illness, a good family friend finally passed away tonight.

It is with relief for her that I can say this with a smile and know that her pain has finally ended.

RIP J.D.
I hope you've found the peace you so richly deserve.

WOW...just WOW

I HAVE to go to this!

No question about it!

http://www.inspiredproductions.co.uk/event_detail.aspx

Doctors

Imaginitive title for today's post (yawn!)

Had my doctor's appointment today, a day late, and accompanied by a good friend, who has been a constant support.
The guy didn't tell me much that I didn't already know, i.e that I have issues that need addressing. Wee yeah, that's why I'm here.
But hey, he was good, sympathetic and he listened and rather than a doctor/patient set up there was an adult/adult interaction which I am grateful for.

Well his diagnosis is 'quite an intense form of depression' which doesn't really surprise me but i've been referred to a psychologist for 'specialist help' which I'm not really relishing the thought of.

But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!

Looking up?

I'm quite relieved to say that after a turbulent few months where I've had more than I really care to think of thrown at me and found my emotions in tatters, I can finally say I remember the sensation of happiness or at least content-ness (real word?) at last.
Yes content would sum me up at the moment.

I feel I am back on track in many aspects of my life and I have some form of vision for my future and I don't wake up feeling dread for the oncoming struggles.
The past few months have had a long lasting effect on me and I'm still battling demons as a result.
But I've found myself feeling happy with my lot again, which is a drastic improvement.

Ironically, as soon as I manage to say these things, I manage to get my much needed doctors appointment which, I've avoided like the plague up til now.
I know I am far from beating the troubles I've been having and I know that while my latest spell has abated, it won't be the last I;ve seen of it. I won't be naive and say oh well it's passed, why bother.
So I WILL be going to the doctors tomorrow.

And I just need to take the opportunity to thank people who have been such a help through this, with two in particular, one who will probably be the first to read this and the other who has offered to go with me to the doctors tomorrow.
Both of you have been rocks, more than you know, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, where you will always have a place.

You know who you are. xx

To J
Happy Birthday Darling!! xxxx

A rare Saturday away from work and, while I still can't remember booking it and still am wondering why I would book a Saturday off and not a Sunday, I was grateful for the opportunity to be lazy. As the next few months promise no days off with school taking up the five weekdays and work occupying the weekend, I've made sure to make the most of this free day.
Nothing to report I've done, as it's been next to nothing. I managed to sit and enjoy a good book, which I haven't done for nearly a year, spend some time with my dad and am now looking forward to a slobbing out evening before returning to the 'slogging guts out' routine.

Well that taught me!

Ever the prankster, I can't let the girlfriend's birthday to pass without playing some form of joke on her. So I picked up any random item, which turned out to be a bottle of dettol cleaner and decided to wrap it up and hand it to her, in all seriousness, to see how she would react (wrapped of course!)

She is fairly renowned for her blonde moments so I am fairly sure that, had it gone ahead, she possibly wouldn't have thought I was joking and would have politely thanked me for my gift and pretended as best she could that she loved it. And therein lies my immature kick out of it.

As it happens however, I had stored the dettol in my bag and as I was walking, suddenly felt a worrying wet patch forming on my behind. Knowing that I hadn't felt the sensation of an uncontrollable bowel system, the next thought to spring to my mind was 'Dettol!'

Off comes the bag, my shirt and trousers are soaked and smelling oh so fresh and I pull out the bottle which is only half full and dripping out of a split at the bottom.
Well my worksheets are going to smell nice for a while and I have quite the bleachy bottom!
I guess I got my comeuppance for having a slightly cruel streak :(

I must say I am moved and saddened by the news of Steve Irwin's sudden death.
The Australian wildlife fanatic often took risks and it looks like this one didn't pay off. As he approached a stingray, he was pierced by it's venemous sting and pronounced dead.
Sadly it seems as if his many critics who claimed he took too many risks have been proven right.
After watching (and enjoying) some of his programmes, it must be admitted that his death was just lying in wait, threatening to strike at any time, as it has. Many of his actions bordered on insane stunts and I guess his luck has run out, leaving behind a young family.

It is very sad news indeed as he was a chirpy personality. I hope he rests in peace.

Regular visitors to 'The Diary Of Mr Slug Take Two' will no doubt be aware of my negative stance towards education, in particular my previous and upcoming years in sixth form.
Over the past few months, I have found my faith in my own skills and my trust in education to provide an adequate future floundering and, where my views on that are concerned, my stance hasn't changed. I whole heartedly believe that the path through non-compulsory school and towards university is overrated and unessential for a good lifestyle in years to come.
However, I may as well make the most of the resources I currently have. Just last week, if I returned to school early, the point of me being there would be non existant.
It would be a case of 'well I've come this far, let's just get this last sodding year out of the way'
Well, a firm kick up my own arse later and I have convinced myself that I may as well put my entire efforts into getting what I can, qualifications wise. As, while they're not as important to me as they may be to others, it can't hurt to possess them surely. I'm not relishing the prospect of another year at the terribly run sixth form department at my school but, despite the poor surroundings and even poorer big shots that 'run' it, I am going to focus my full potential into it and get what I can out of it. I'm no longer nuts over school so if I fail I'm not going to cry over it.
But at least I will know I have tried.
And if I don't fail? Well, hey, that's just an added bonus.
I won't know if this fresh outlook on the whole situation will come to sufficient fruition to make life at school bearable until next week, but fingers crossed and at least I'm making that effort that I was afraid had vanished into oblivion.