After another strenuous day twisting myself to satisfy the continuously absurd demands of the general public I feel there are a few thinks I must straighten out to the customer. The reason I am doing so here is because if the opportuniy/temptation arose when I really wanted to say it, I would no doubt lose my job.
Firstly...the phrase you use when you approach me at my checkout that takes the form of 'I thought I'd come to you because you look bored' really doesn't wash with me. I don't know what kind of life you think I lead but seeing someone approaching me with a trolley full of barcodes to scan and items to pack really doesn't excite me and isn't a renowned remedy for boredom.
And what would you do if you saw me looking happy at my checkout? You'd walk on by I presume?
And also when you're the first customer in the store on a Sunday morning, having waited outside locked doors for fifteen minutes and you jovially approach me and joke about your own desperation to buy DIY goods...I don't find you funny. I still find you sad and feel you are an irritation. Nothing you can possibly say or do will change my mind. If you wait outside a store for it to open the you need a life. Period.
When you approach me for a refund and are in the depths of despair that a replacement product happens to be out of stock, your wailing and tantrums will not allow me to materialise your desired goods out of thin air. And, this may surprise you but your constant complaints about how hard your life has become as a result of this 'out of stock' crisis will not induce any sympathy on my part. Quite the opposite in fact. It will make me resent you for making an issue out of something so trivial when other people are going through much worse things. And when the person who has the power to solve your issue resents you, you may be out of luck if you're hoping for your item in the near future.
I also find it absurd that some of you can walk into a store while you have a nauseating aroma surrounding you. Is personal hygeine lost on you? I do not want to have to smell a sewer full of decomposing horses that have been eating rotten brussel sprouts when I come to serve you. Also, if I'm in close enough proximity to be able to feel your breath then it's courteous of you to ensure you arrive having brushed your teeth or slushed some mouthwash about. The 'safety at work' guidelines cover being knocked out by bad breath as well, in my book. Please, if you're on the way to this shop, take a minor detour to the newsagents and invest in some breath mints and deodrant.
If I am talking to someone in the shop, chances are we are conducting a conversation of some kind. So it is not polite or even acceptable for you to amble over and interrupt with your own question. The fact that I am engaging in an exchange in words with another person and holding eye contact usually means I am already busy serving someone. You wouldn't interrupt a conversation at home or on the street. Becoming the customer who is always right doesn't give you the added benefit of being inpolite.
Oh and on the same vain...if I am carrying packs of laminate flooring or a heavy fireplace, I am obviously not able to direct you to an aisle at this point. You may have to wait.
And you may think that giving me the right change is doing me a favour but let's weigh the situation up shall we? I have a queue which I am trying to shorten. You open your purse and empty a heap of coppers onto the desk. You proceed to count them all out individually and upon doing so, pass me the pile on your hand which I then have to recount for myself. After standing waiting, then counting a pile of change I then have to deposit each coin into it's respective tray in the till, one by one.
Please...just pass me a fiver. My till has plenty of change. I can give you it. Thanks for the lovely thought and all...but it doesn't help. And if you're so eager to get rid of your change stop being so damned tight and put it in a charity box!
Technology is advanced...but my till isn't magic. Sometimes it is possible to expect just a bit too much. Telling me a vague description of an item you want does not give me the ability to 'find it on my till' And if my till doesn't have an ability...no amount of begging from you will inspire me to travel to head office and re-program all of the tills to satisy you. While you expect too much of these tills, you then go to the other extreme when a disagreeable price comes up. 'The till must be wrong' You expect it to find articles, know all of your details because you happened to make a purchase four years ago but it can't scan an item properly? Do make up your mind.
And really, is it totally necessary to drift in two minutes before closing to place a complex order you have had all day to do? It may not seem like it but we have a life outside our work uniform and finishing our shift at the designated time is preferable to additional minutes seeing to your needs and consequent ingratitude. We do actually have homes and shockingly prefer them to our workplace. Just a thought. Maybe give it some consideration.
And while you're in the consideration mode, think about this. For what possible reason would I LIKE to carry out a long refund, order huge amounts for delivery or phone around other stores to find a certain item. Asking me if I would LIKE to do it will get you a polite response...but is there really much sense in the question? Hey it's my job so I'll do it for you...but it certainly isn't something I would like to do. Funnily enough I don't get a warm glow in my heart and allow my bladder to give way in sheer excitement when I see you approaching, receipt in hand with a trolley full of unwanted items. So no I wouldn't really like to. It's tedious, it's an inconvenience. And implying that you should get special treatment from me because you are a regular spender won't fetch much success. I'm a 17 year old student in a part time role. I don't care about the shop's takings. If I had the choice of licking your arse and being your slave or you not coming to the store at all I know which it'd be.
And here's my final suggestion...perhaps you shouldn't come to me when you shop at the store I work in. Because I seem to have pretty high standards for you to meet as my ideal customer ;)
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9 comments:
wow! After reading that, I shall struggle to set foot inside a shop ever again! ;) (Jennyta)
Lol...absolutely excellent, I could really hear you saying that and I am sooooo with you on every point! heh. Hilarious :o)) I remember standing there with you at 10 on a sunday morning and our uttering similar...kinda makes me miss it in a contrary way...not much else I do miss mind you ;o)
Thanks for the belly laugh *hugs*
Jennyta: I do apologise. I'm sure you're nothing like that anyway ;)!
Gem: Har yes, you are missed like a thumb from a finger...the person I'm with now actally is pleased to see people in early...as it's more fun...*sigh*
'More fun'! That person, whoever they are, is seriously deranged! lol
Just as you cannot choose your customers, the customers do not get the luxury of choosing the staff member either. I personally hate being served by snotty teenagers who cannot give a toss as to what I want - and your ramblings have just justified that my gut instincts were correct ! When you get older, you kinda appreciate the income and become - hush my mouth - thankful for the job !!!!! ;-) You are very eloquent and very amusing to read tho !
gemmak: Yes, and not the good seriously derranged that you are. They leave next week though :)
And I jsut realised I said thumb from finger...psssht I meant thumb from HAND
Anon: Hmmm my ramblings have obviously given you the wrong impression I am by no means a snotty teenager and am perfectly courteous to the customers I serve, many of whom tell me such afterwards.
I am more than happy to help so I feelable to get annoyed when customers don't return the good manners that I display.
The post was more for humour purposes than a serious stab at people. I hoped the tone would get that across but perhaps not.
Following my earlier comments, I am going to do something which is not an activity I usually partake in.....and apologise for what I said. Looking at previous posts you have put on, I now realise that you are certainly not the type of person I (understandably, seeing as this was the first post I read) thought you were. In fact from your other posts, you sound like a sensitive, decent person who appears to be dealt the sh1t cards from the hand of fate from time to time ! Unfortunately being a good guy doesn't always reap the rewards that society would have us believe we will inherit !!!
On a career note, have you considered a future in writing ? Your imagination and way with words is such a breath of fresh air, and it would be a great shame for your obvious talent to be hidden away from the world. Worth considering......
Apologies once again, and the very best of luck for the future. I'm going back to my dictionary now to look up the word 'humour' ;-)
Anon: An understandable initial reaction if this is the first post you read :)
Thank you for your comment. It has cheered up an otherwise meagre day.
And I can only agree with your sentiments on being the 'decent guy,' an activity that, despite the struggles it takes to achieve, rarely bears any benefits.
Writing is certainly something I hope to gain something out of. I am half way through writing a novel at the moment which, when I have the time, I hope to perfect and send away for publication. I guess it will be more than a bit of pot luck to gain much success
Thanks for reading and thanks again for your comment :)
Carpenter: Sod's law mate...luck works in strange ways!
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