As someone openly skeptical about all things love, romance and relationships, I've recently been considering the situation a couple of friends are in with growing frustration and confusion.
It's like this. They were good friends and are now an item. HE is convinced it is love. So is she.
So convinced it's love they are IN LOVE. So convinced it's love that they feel the need to say I love you every waking moment.
So in love that they also worry when I love you is not said. Or are concerned the other doesn't feel the same. Or wonder if for some reason an impending split is coming on when the other doesn't grope, molest and snog furiously every five minutes.
This paranoia manages to drive a wedge between them every single week without fail. There a tearful phone calls, obsessive texts, awwkard situations, threats to splits then joyous declarations of love...before another thing kciks it all off the next day.
So with all this going on...where is the time to actually enjoy the relationship?
Call me an idiot, but surely the whole idea of a relationship is to spend time with someone you care about, see them, enjoy their company, have a laugh and feel special?
Not argue constantly about who loves who more?
Saying I love you all the time, after every email, in every sentence, will soon render the phrase defunct. it's a very intimate and special set of words, arguably one of the most influential and important phrases you will ever use. You are taking the special element out of it if it is used in this way, surely.
And a relationship shouldnt always be about seriousness and commitment. Those serious, romantic and important moments where you share things, admit your feelings and declare your devotion to that person should be combined with light hearted times spent with eachother. With the best friend in your whole world, you're meant to have a laugh as well. you';re meant to joke together. If you're writing love sonnets and feeling the need to assure your commitment to the other person every moment of the relationship, it is no longer special and just becomes routine and expected. Which takes the whole point of those 'special' moments away.
Personally I can't see what they are both fighting for. All they seem to be striving to keep is more aggrivation, stress and paranoia. Somewhere along the line they have lost the way and forgotton what a relationshiop is actually about.
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2 comments:
That is such a sensitive and true picture you have painted of what a relationship should be. The two people you write about seem to be very insecure. The fact that they have come together in a relationship has made the effect of their insecurity all the more detrimental for being twice as strong. I think they both need counselling. I'm not saying this as a glib answer to everything but the relationship will cause they both a lot of heartache otherwise.
Well they certainly need to sort themselves out somehow.
I don't doubt that their feelings are genuine...but they both obsess over things which shouldn't be so dominating and therefore neglect other essential aspects.
The heartache you speak of seems inevitable and I can't say I'm relishing the prospect of clearing it up!
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