For the second day on the trot, I ventured out of school during designated education hours (authorised, don't panic), this time to pur-chase a Valentine's gift.
Yes, that dreaded day is drawing ever closer and will soon be determining the fates of couples across the land. That devilish choice over whether to splash out and go overboard, only to scare off your other half or to just be calm and collected and give her something small, only to offend her to the other extreme.
It's certainly my own nightmare to receive something extravavgant and then hand over something quite pathetic in comparison. I personally don't care what I receive, I always make it clear that I'd feel best receiving nothing at all but it's the agonising torment of fretting over my own choice for her that is the difficult bit.
The best method to please on valentines day is romantic gestures and excessive pampering but that's too much like hard work and I'm certainly not inventive enough. I can pen the odd poem or cook a decent meal but that's as far as my abilities will stretch on occasions such as these.
Those who know me well will also know that my stance on Valentine's Day is in the negative region. Aside from the reckless throwing away of well earned money to please a loved one, it's also something that has to be topped each year. If I get her chocolates this year, then next year I'll have to get her jewellery, then the next year I'll have to take her on holiday, then the year after that I'll have to get her favourite musician to serenade her and then the year after give her my soul or something.
One good thing that comes out of valentine's Day (well aside from the obvious cliche fuzzy feelings) is actually for the singletons among us. Those bachelors and bachelorettes of the population can use Valentine's day to give people in a relationship the middle finger as they hold on to their money and sit back with popcorn to watch us dashing around like maniacs, tring to find something original.
There is always the scenario of your partner meeting up with friends and having a discussion similar to this.
"Well, my Charlie flew me round the world in a heart shaped aeroplane and sang various love songs with an orchestra all the way."
"Oh, well that's nothing! Alan carried me 15 miles across a path of rose petals he had made and presented me with a gift to resemble all of the positive feelings he felt for me."
"Well gary took me on holiday...to the promised land! What about you?"
"Errr, well I got some chocolates and a nice bunch of flowers"
Women have such high expectations and such high amount of pride that they see it as a competition. If they lose and your friends better you at being treated well, you are dumped!
Of course, I don't speak for the entire female race when I talk about this.
But I've certaily been met with a similar scenario and I'm sure a lot of others have.
I can't say what i bought today, as my dearest may well be reading this! But, I can safely say, it is unimaginative, unoriginal and deeply cliche! And she'lll just have to make do with it!
Because I don't DO valentines day!
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